


Seasons Change

by Fanfic_or_bust



Category: Karamel - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, But it will make it better, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Much different vibes, No Spoilers, Romance, Sequel to Mating Season, Sweetness, but you don't have to have read Mating Season, this is a sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-13 07:00:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfic_or_bust/pseuds/Fanfic_or_bust
Summary: The long-delayed sequel to Mating Season!A month has passed since what everyone has been referring to as "the incident", and despite Kara and Mon-El being more connected than ever before, things are almost back to normal. Almost. The story continues...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a sequel to my previous fic, Mating season ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/10581741/chapters/23385486 ) but can also be read as a stand alone story if you haven't that! But if you have time, go check that out first and come back :)
> 
> Ok, wow, here we go! Into another fic, but this one will likely be a lot longer than Mating Season was. Thanks to EVERYONE who encouraged me, left kudos and especially those who left comments!!! You guys really kept me motivated and honestly you're equally responsible for this sequel as I am at this point! And I can't forget my trusty twin brain, Conty, who is the co-parent of this headcanon I'm writing for you guys. We are absolutely in love with this story and have gotten so in depth with our discussions. I'm doing everything in my power to make the character choices seem organic and allow you to read in their voices. I really hope you enjoy this fic! I'm going to update as often as I can regardless, but I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as Conty and I do :)
> 
> PS. not all chapters will be as long as chapter 1! I'm sorry in advance!

              Kara walked carefully through the busy streets of National City, holding Eliza’s hand, allowing herself to be guided as she looked up, up, up at the massive sky scrapers looming over head. She smiled as she looked up, the glint off the glass making her squint just a little. They reminded her of Krypton. Of home. Where things were normal. She liked Earth, she did, maybe even loved it. She loved many parts, at least. Eliza, Jeremiah, Alex, she loved them. And ice cream, this delicious treat that was frozen and sweet and creamy… she loved that too. And Chinese food! Especially pot stickers, those were the best. Ok, maybe she loved a _lot_ of the food here. And as different as it was, she loved how _bright_ the days got here, and how _green_ the trees and the plants were. Nothing was green on Krypton, plants and vegetation were usually some shade of purple, due to the reaction of the chlorophyll under the red sunlight. But here, everything was _bright_ and _animated._ More chaotic than Krypton, but there was beauty in that too.

She loved a lot about Earth, but she still missed home with an aching that at times threatened to tear her apart. Except she knew that would never happen. Nothing could tear her apart because she was the girl of Steel. She was impervious to harm, and stronger than anything except Rao himself, she thought. Her Mother had warned her she would be strong here, but she had no idea, no frame of reference… she didn’t know what she had expected, but it wasn’t this. She was _too_ strong, so strong that every single thing she did required her attention to make sure she didn’t break something or hurt someone. So strong she scared herself sometimes.       

As time passed, she seemed to be getting the hang of it, to be able to split her attention and focus on two things at once, but always, at every moment, she had to focus on _controlling_ her power. *Left foot, right foot, left, right* She thought to herself, willing her feet to step gingerly, not to crack the pavement as she had done so many times before. *Don’t squeeze too hard* She reminded herself, and eased back her grip on her Foster Mother’s hand. The city was too overwhelming and distracting, though, and she kept feeling her mind wander.

This was her first time here, her first time out of Midvale at all in the year since landing. She had been looking forward to it all month and her excitement was almost more than she could handle. “Isn’t it all just so wonderful?” She asked Eliza, her eyes alight, her smile wide as she looked around and drank it all in. There were people and food carts and cars and bikes and birds! So many birds! They were these wonderful flying creatures that had feathers and looked carefree and as light as air and no matter where they were, they could just take off and fly away. They were one of Kara’s favourite Earth Creatures, perhaps next to dogs, though she liked them for very different reasons.

She couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty and grace of the birds as they flew the skies with total freedom. Ever since she learned that Kal could fly, she had dreamt almost every night of the clouds, the wind on her face, this intoxicating feeling of weightlessness and speed, and she woke almost every morning expecting to be able to do it, to be able to get up and fly. Though sadly she didn’t seem able to yet, and she worried that she may never develop the ability if she hadn’t already. She could jump tremendous distances, and that was almost as good, but not quite the same.

“I’ve been so excited to take you, Kara, I’m so happy you’re enjoying yourself.” Eliza responded warmly, turning her head to look fondly at her. She was so beautiful, and kind. Kara thanked Rao and all the Gods every day for safely delivering her to the Danvers’ door that fateful day after landing. She was so scared and confused, baby Kal was a grown man and she had these overwhelming abilities and Krypton was long, long gone… if it hadn’t been for Eliza, and the rest of the Danvers family, Kara may have cracked under the weight of her grief, girl of steel and all.

“Enjoying myself?” Kara asked, her smile splitting her face. “Are you _kidding_ me?” She asked, and Eliza laughed in enjoyment at Kara’s enthusiasm. “It’s so… alive!” Kara added, turning her face to the sky, eyes closed, soaking in the warm, bright sunlight and _smelling_ , and _listening._ There was so much to take in, Kara could see why Eliza worried she would be overwhelmed coming here. But it was the opposite of that, instead, it seemed to… invigorate her. She loved the density of _life_ here, she could hear heartbeats all around her and a thousand conversations and horns honking and whistles blowing, the subway running below like a rushing pulse of the city itself. It was so different than Midvale, population 808.

“It certainly is.” Eliza answered, chuckling, but Kara could tell she didn’t share her enthusiasm.

“Why is it you live in such a small town when you could live here?” Kara asked, curiously. She liked Midvale, too, had friends there, but _National City…_ they just didn’t compare.

“Well, sweetie, I think some people are just city people at heart, and some people prefer the country.” She answered thoughtfully as they walked, her head tilted a little as she contemplated her reply. Kara loved that about Eliza. She always answered truthfully, and to the best of her ability. She always thought about every answer. Being new to just about everything, Kara appreciated it more than she could put into words.

“I’m a city people.” Kara replied, deciding in that moment she wanted to live here one day.

Eliza smiled at her and squeezed her hand. “I think a lot of people are, when they’re young. If you study hard, maybe you could go to College here.” At this, Kara’s eyes went wide and she began vigorously nodding her head.

“Yes! I will!” She answered, and Eliza laughed and tugged Kara in to her side, draping an arm around her shoulder as they continued to stroll down the busy street.

“Jeremiah and I used to live here, right downtown in the thick of it all, but we moved to Midvale when I was pregnant with Alex. I wanted her to live in a home with a yard, room for a dog.” Eliza continued, and Kara’s eyebrows scrunched in response.

“Pregnant.” She said, testing the word and saying it aloud. _Pregnant._ She could still hardly believe it, that Eliza had grown Alex inside her like a _parasite_. Kara knew about reproduction, of course. Her mother was a scientist, and she had been to many planets that practiced natural reproduction. As a Kryptonian, she had always been taught that it was a base, primitive, unhealthy, _chaotic_ method of procreation practiced by lower lifeforms. Even _Daxamites_ used a Birthing Matrix, so that was saying something about the planets that _didn’t._

And yet… Earth was amazing! It didn’t seem base, and it didn’t seem primitive at all. And pregnancy seemed… it seemed almost beautiful in its own way. But, like, for other people. Just not for Kara. The idea of a parasitic little baby growing inside her… just gave her the willies. Maybe if she had grown up on Earth, the idea would appeal to her, but just… no. Besides, what if she passed on her dangerous, sometimes even frightening powers? To a little baby? No way. Nope. But Kara had seen the meticulously documented album of Eliza’s pregnancy with Alex, and Alex’s baby pictures, and how much Eliza had apparently loved being pregnant, and Alex had turned out just great, even without the Birthing Matrix. So it couldn’t be all bad.

Kara was actually quite fascinated by the concept, and had asked Eliza on more than one occasion if she would consider having another child. She didn’t want one of her own, but she would _adore_ a little brother or sister. Eliza had said no, of course, though Jeremiah seemed like he might be convinced. Kara reminded herself to ask again, the next time she had some alone time with him.

Eliza had quieted, allowing Kara to work through her thoughts. “I keep forgetting.” Kara said simply, hoping Eliza understood.

“Things were different, back home.” Eliza replied, understanding that Kara was still so new, and so much was so different about this world. Kara nodded her head.

“A lot different.” She agreed. “But Earth is home now, and Earth is wonderful.” She continued, sincerely, hoping Eliza didn’t interpret her homesickness as a criticism of the life she had here. “ _Especially_ National City! I’m _totally_ going to live here.” She added, the afterthought popping into her head and out her lips without censor as usual.

Eliza chuckled. “Well better here than Metropolis, here you’re just a car ride away.” Kara nodded, getting distracted by the city around her just a little, and they both walked for a bit after that in what felt to Kara like a comfortable silence as she held Eliza’s hand and looked around. There was a man on the corner, and he was playing a brass instrument, she couldn’t remember the name, it was on the tip of her tongue… sexmachine? No, that definitely wasn’t right. Saxmafin? Regardless, she could look up the name later, but his music was _beautiful_ and soulful _._ He had a small group of people standing around, listening, but Kara wondered why he wasn’t in a stadium playing for thousands. She adored music. The passion, the emotion… much better than the sterile background filler they had on Krypton. Here, music was meant to be _listened_ to, not just as ambience.

She wanted to ask Eliza to stop, so she could listen, but when she looked up at her foster mother’s face, it was troubled and the thought of music washed from her mind. Eliza was unhappy, was it something Kara had said? Had she embarrassed her somehow, maybe broken something without noticing? “Eliza?” Kara asked, and then, without thinking, “Mom?” The word had slipped out a few times recently, and the more she said it, the more Kara felt comfortable with it, though it was still so new. She was slowly realizing that she may have had a Mother she loved on Krypton, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a Mom she loved on Earth. She had room in her heart for both. Eliza wasn’t replacing anyone, how could she? She was her own, wonderful, loving person. Mom. And she looked very unhappy right now. “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” Kara asked anxiously.

At her question, Eliza seemed to snap out of it, forcing a warm, kind smile to her lips and softening her eyes. “No, sweet heart, of course you didn’t.” Then she pulled Kara into her side for a hug as they continued to walk. Kara relaxed a little, relieved, but she was still puzzled.

“Then what’s the matter? How can you frown in such a wonderful place?” At this, Eliza’s frown returned for just a moment.

“Well, Kara, actually there’s something I wanted to talk to you about today.” She said, and Kara felt her stomach flip.

“Are you sick?” Kara asked suddenly. She had seen a show, recently, where the mom had gotten sick, and had to break the news to their children. The fragility of humans and the possibility of something happening to the Danvers was Kara’s biggest, most horrible worry. She felt her heart pound as she waited for an answer.

“No, you sweet girl!” Eliza said, her smile returning and filling Kara’s body with warmth once again as relief washed over her. “No, I’m fine.”

“And Jeremiah is fine?” Kara asked, just making sure.

“Yes, he’s just fine. Way too busy with work, but fine.”

“And Alex?”

“Moody, but also fine.” Eliza answered, laughing, and Kara relaxed, a smile returning to her face.

“Then what’s the matter?” She asked, curious but no longer worried. They were fine, that’s all that mattered.

“It’s, I don’t want you to worry, but do you remember those tests we did together, in the lab?” She asked. Kara wanted to answer by saying _Duh,_ how could she forget? Days of boring tests in the lab, it had been the worst. But Eliza had always told her she didn’t have to if it frightened her, and Kara trusted that she had her best interests at heart, so she had gone along with it willingly.

“Yeah.” She answered, already losing interest, her eye catching on something just a little way ahead.

“Well, I got a result I want to talk to you about.” Eliza replied a little nervously. At this, Kara’s head snapped right back towards her.

“Is it… am I not going to be able to fly like Kal?” She asked urgently. Besides her concern over the Danvers family and their wellbeing, her number one keep-her-up-at-night worry was that she would never learn to fly. She didn’t know why it was so important. She couldn’t do it on Krypton, but baby Kal could do it and she wanted to too. During the testing she had asked Eliza to try to find out if she’d ever develop the ability, but it had come up inconclusive. Did she have some new news about it? But no, the look on Eliza’s face told her the answer was no.

“Still inconclusive.” She said, her tone consolatory. “But maybe this summer we could take you out to the desert and you can try again.” She added, and Kara felt her hopes rise once again. The smile returned to her face and widened as she eyed an ice cream cart up ahead. She had a five dollar bill in her pocket she had earned for doing chores… what were the chances Eliza would let her buy a treat before their lunch together? “But I wanted to talk to you about something else, something else I tested you for. Something that I thought you might want to know.” Eliza continued, but Kara hadn’t caught a word she had said. A boy had just handed the purveyor of the cart a bill and was receiving a mouth-wateringly delicious looking ice cream cone. It was chocolate-dipped, and was that… sprinkles!?

“Uhhh… sorry, could you repeat that?” Kara asked Eliza, though in truth she was still too distracted to listen. Ice cream just had that kind of effect on her.

“Kara, is something the—oh.” Eliza asked, cutting herself short when she realized what was distracting her insatiable kryptonian teenage daughter.

“That’s really interesting.” Kara responded, not listening, her eyes fixed on the cart, reading the different options from the pictures on the side.

“Kara.” Eliza said, trying to get her attention.

“Mhmm?” Kara responded, still distracted with the colourful cart up ahead. Did she want nuts on top? Or sprinkles? Oooh, _caramel…_

“Kara!” Eliza said loudly, finally Kara turned to look at her, her face shocked for a moment before the guilt washed over it as she realized she hadn’t been listening to her.

“Oh!” She said, her face twisted in what she hoped was an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry Eliza!” She continued, worried she had upset Eliza, or that she had missed something important. But instead her foster mother just smiled and chuckled, lifting her hand to brush Kara’s bangs, straightening them affectionately.

“It’s ok, dear. How about I buy you an ice cream?” She asked, and Kara felt her heart swell with love for her foster mother, as well as with anticipation for ice cream.

 

 

“Babe, I think we did it.” Mon-El called from the kitchen, his head stuck in the freezer as he leaned over the dent in the door they had left during what everyone was now referring to as ‘the incident’ almost a month ago. They’d had to replace almost everything in the apartment, and repair many of the walls (and the ceiling), not to mention just about every window. The dented fridge was one of the last things they had to replace, but it still worked so they kept putting it off. Actually, it was one of the last bits of evidence that ‘the incident’ had ever even taken place. Well, the fridge, and the memories permanently engraved in each and every one of their friends’, family’s, and co-worker’s minds.

During the re-decoration of the apartment, Mon-El had moved all of his stuff (which amounted to a small mountain of plaid shirts, a laptop, a small framed picture of Kara, and a 6 inch Flash figure that Cisco had given him to Barry’s mortification during their trip to Earth 1) from his room at the DEO and officially moved in with Kara. Nothing much had changed, they hadn’t been able to stay apart more than a handful of hours since the incident was over so he had been staying over every night anyways, but now he was officially and permanently a fixture in the apartment. Home, where he belonged.

“What did we do?” Kara asked, leaning back on the couch to look at him, admiring his firm backside as he leaned deep into the back of the freezer, standing on his tip-toes just a little. There was nothing like that view to distract her from her thoughts that had been troubling her for days.

“Yep, we did it.” He responded resolutely, pulling his head out of the freezer and closing the door. Then he turned to face Kara. “We ate the last of the caramel ice cream available on Earth. That’s it, there’s no more.” He said, his tone serious. At Kara’s incredulous look, he continued, a smile creeping over his face as he continued with his act. “I know! I know! Don’t look at me like that, call the president of the Department of Frozen Dairy Products. I’ve been to every single grocery store, pharmacy, and prayed to Rao. I don’t know what else to do. You wiped them out.”

“ _We_ wiped them out.” Kara corrected, not wanting to acknowledge that she had basically eaten an entire city’s supply of caramel flavoured ice cream in the last two weeks all on her own.

“Oh, yeah, we’re a team babe. I’m with you.”

“And you checked the back of the freezer? Behind the—“

“Behind the perfectly good and almost untouched carton of Mint Chocolate Chip, your previous favourite flavour? Yep, I checked there.” Mon-El replied with a smirk as he strolled towards her, placing his hand on the back of the new couch and vaulting over, landing beside her. He was smiling mischievously, his eyes shining, and even in her current state of worry, she couldn’t help but smile in response.

“This is an emergency. There is going to be a city wide panic.” She responded, her eyes wide, and Mon-El laughed out loud, reaching over and placing a hand on her leg as he turned sideways on the couch to face her.

“I don’t think there’s a person in this city that cares more about caramel ice cream right now than you, Kara. I’m not worried about them, but I am actually a little worried about you. Are you doing okay?” He asked, his voice turning serious with concern at the end. Kara felt her breath hitch as she felt his love and worry running like a current from his heart, through his hand on her thigh, and filling her up. Her instinct normally would be to lie, to diminish her problems so he wouldn’t worry, but things had changed since the incident. She had found that, no, they couldn’t suddenly read each other’s minds like she had thought maybe they could last month. But they _were_ connected in a new way, it seemed. She could sense his emotions, and he hers. And ever since their connection that crazy night, she hadn’t been able to lie to him. Not successfully, at least. She had lost all compulsion to lie in the first place, but if she had tried anyways, he’d know.

“It’s just…” She started, but stopped. How did she even put it into words? She hadn’t even admitted it to herself yet, what she thought was happening. Every time it came into her mind she shoved it deep down, and focused on Mon-El, or her duties as Supergirl, her friends, or she’d just eat something to distract herself. “I’ve been really, really craving it lately.” She finished, stating the obvious, not ready to confront what she really thought it could be.

“Well thanks, Admiral Obvious.” Mon-El said, rolling his eyes, and Kara laughed.

“It’s _Captain_.” She said, and he scrunched his face in response.

“Captain what?”

“Captain Obvious.” She answered, and he stuck out his bottom lip and shot his eyebrows up as if he wanted to disagree, but then thought better of it.

“But Admiral Obvious sounds better.” He said, and Kara snorted.

“I guess that’s a matter of opinion.”

“And Admiral is a higher rank thank Captain, right?” He clarified and Kara smacked him on the shoulder as she laughed, grateful for his levity to break the tension. His face lit up as she nodded her head and chuckled.

“It is. And you’re right, it does sound better.” She said, and he smiled contentedly, then raised his hand to cup her chin, stroking her cheek gently as he did.

“I love you.” He said, suddenly, and Kara felt her heart swell to hear the words. “I think I know.” He added, softly, and again she felt her breath catch. He knew. Of course he knew. Good. It was time, time she said it out loud, time she acknowledged what she already privately thought to be true. What she was so worried about.

“You do?” She asked, her voice a whisper.

“Yeah babe. I do.” He replied, his gaze steady as he looked into her eyes, reaching forward with his other hand to scoop both of hers between his own. “And it’s going to be alright, either way.”

“Do you really think it could be that, though?” She asked. She still wasn’t sure. This could all just be… left over symptoms. The incident had left them both different, both changed. Kara had been running a low grade fever ever since, and Mon-El had been having vivid dreams. Everything was different, it didn’t have to mean anything. This could all just be nothing. And _yet…_

“I mean, it could be. We knew it was a possibility.” He said reasonably, squeezing her hand.

“I know, I mean, yeah. I know.” She replied, nodding herself, forcing herself to be reasonable.

“Would you—are you okay with that—that possibility?” He asked, somewhat awkwardly. They had talked about it, just after the incident, possibly before their heads had fully begun to clear, and they had both agreed they’d be happy if that were the case. But now, a month had passed, and things had… well, not changed, not really. But they hadn’t talked about it again since then, maybe they were both afraid to say the words aloud, but since that time, Kara had felt a worry set in, and she had almost begun doubting herself.

“No, I mean, yeah…” Kara stammered, she was so conflicted, she didn’t know how to answer.

“It’s okay to not be sure. I’ll be here for you, no matter what.” He said, his hand squeezing hers.

“It’s just… I never grew up thinking…” She tried to say, pausing to collect her thoughts. The apartment was silent as Mon-El waited for her to finish, except for the buzz of a fly that had been bothering her for days. She swatted it away and continued. “Ever since I was young, I just never wanted… how would _you_ feel about it?” She asked suddenly, needing to know the answer. Needing him to reassure her everything would be okay.

He took a moment before he spoke, to look her in the eye, to make sure she could feel his sincerity. She began feeling better before he even started. “Kara, I don’t know if I can adequately explain in words how much I love you, how _devoted_ to you I am. Are you kidding? I’d be over the moon. But I care about you above all, I need to know you’re okay.” He said, and she smiled, sniffing a little and nodded.

“I am, I will be. With you.” She said, and he smiled back in relief. “But aren’t you… aren’t you scared?” She asked, and she was so meek, so trepidatious in her words, they were a betrayal of her fear and weakness, but she couldn’t hide anything from him. And she needed to know if he felt the same way. To her surprise, he burst out laughing. It went on for a while before he tapered off, wiping a tear, and then looking up at her, out of breath.

“That’s hilarious— babe, you’re so funny!” Then a dramatic pause. Mon-El loved his drama. “Oh, you—you’re serious?” He asked, and Kara looked back at him, a begrudging smile threatening to crack her frown despite her anxiety. “Oh you are!” He finished, and he leaned forward and playfully pushed at her shoulder. “Well then, I think you should know that I am absolutely, utterly, terrified. Baffling so, actually.” He said, and Kara felt a flood of relief, to know he felt the same, but then he surprised her with the look of joy and wonder on his face, despite his words. “But how could anything be bad when we’re together?” He added, leaning forward with the most sincere, most hopeful look and she felt her heart constrict. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. He had a point.

She remained silent for a moment, thinking, before a begrudging hopeful smile began to spread across her face. She was still terrified, still conflicted, but he was right. They were together, how could it be bad? And despite her every instinct, a part of her began to feel… _excited._ Which could be a problem, considering they didn’t know anything yet. It could still be nothing. Or worse. She could be sick. Or the incident could be happening again. But she couldn’t help the bloom of hope that seemed to light inside her like a fire. A fire she never expected to be lit, _never_ expected.

“You’re right. I think we should… get tested. Somehow.” She said through her nervous smile, and Mon-El’s eyes lit up.

“Let’s call your mom, right now.” He said, practically bouncing with excitement, and Kara laughed.

“Ok, I—I just need to know, I think we should know. I can’t ignore it anymore.”

“I know you can’t. Neither can our neighbourhood grocer. You’re putting his kids through college with that ice cream habit of yours.” He said, nudging Kara playfully and she laughed in response, before sighing and flopping back, still not quite believing that this was even a possibility. She just never, ever thought…

 

 

 

“I never thought I would like it here so much, Eliza!” Kara said enthusiastically, swallowing her mouth full of bacon and omelette. Her foster mother had taken her to a beautiful restaurant with a patio on the park, and they served a fancy brunch, with shiny silverware and waiters in ties and flowers on every table. They didn’t have restaurants like this in Midvale, it was gorgeous, and she was enamored from the moment they walked in. But that may have had something to do with the buffet she had spotted in the back as they entered. A breakfast _buffet!_ Who knew such wonderful things existed? This city just kept getting better and better.

Eliza smiled and sipped her tea. She had finished a while ago, but allowed Kara to go back for three extra plates. She really was the most wonderful woman. “Who knew the key to your heart was an all-you-can-eat buffet?” She said, pausing, a coy smile playing on her lips as she leaned forward and said, “Oh wait… I did!” She finished, and they both laughed.

“With _bacon_!” Kara added, and put another piece of the delicious salty meat in her mouth, savouring the flavour.

“It’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about things like cholesterol or blood pressure, with you.” Eliza mused and Kara smiled with a closed mouth as she chewed her bacon happily, not really understanding what she said. She sat there for another few minutes, finishing her spinach omelette and fruit salad, looking around at the people in the restaurant, feeling nothing but contentedness. What an awesome day.

She was looking at the buffet, wondering if she should get _one_ more plate, when she noticed it. A funny noise. She’d never heard it before. What was that? She looked around until she pinpointed where it was coming from. The off-time but continuous flutter-thump-flutter-thump was coming from a woman sitting at the next table! But Kara had never heard that sound come from a human before. Was she an alien, like Kara was?

She must have been staring for too long, but Eliza leaned forward and whispered “Kara!” getting the Kryptonian’s attention. She turned her head away from the woman and back to her foster mother, her face showing her confusion. “What was it?” She asked, knowing Kara must have been listening to something.

“I think—“ Kara started, listening again to be sure. “I think that woman has two heartbeats!” She said, far too loudly, eliciting a look from a few of the diners around them.

Eliza looked at them, then leaned forwards across the table, and placed her hand gently over Kara’s. Kara realized she’d said something wrong and worried she might be scolded, but then Eliza surprised her with patient, interested look instead.

“What a wonderful gift you have.” She said, and Kara smiled in relief. “Although I can’t imagine what it must be like. I’m sure it gets overwhelming for you.”

“Sometimes…” Kara replied, looking down at the table. She didn’t want to burden Eliza or any of the Danvers with how overwhelming and at times painful her transition to life on Earth was, though she knew they knew some of it because at its worst, she hadn’t been able to hide it from them. Still, she didn’t like mentioning it and upsetting them. And besides, she was so much better now, it wasn’t even that bad anymore. She had mostly gotten used to it, and a lot of the time, it was actually pretty cool. Except when she overheard things she didn’t want to hear, like Mackenzie North gossiping about her in the school bathroom while Kara was in English class. She hadn’t been overly happy about her super hearing that day.

“And what do you think it means, her two heartbeats?” Eliza asked, drawing Kara back to the present. Kara loved the way Eliza wouldn’t always just answer things for her, she’d let her think and figure it out herself. She guessed that was the scientist in her. Kara leaned forward onto her steepled fingers, her elbows resting on the table.

“Hmmmm…” She said, thoughtfully. Then she looked up, her eyes bright and her smile wide, her eyebrows quirked conspiratorially. “I think she might be an alien.” She whispered, and Eliza laughed, then nodded her head as though she was thinking over that possibility.

“Could be.” She said, but Kara could tell she wasn’t convinced. “Any other theories? Do the two heartbeats sound the same?” She asked, and Kara shook her head. No, they didn’t. One was fainter, like a flutter. The other was just like any other heartbeat. Loud, steady, thumping. Kind of gurgly, with the rush of blood that followed every pump. And then it hit her.

“She’s pregnant!” Kara called out, turning to look at the woman, who looked up at them startled. She looked slightly panicked but Kara was oblivious, she just smiled widely. “Congratulations!” She added brightly, and the woman was so shocked that she answered a weak ‘thank you?’ while the man across from her said nothing, his face whiter than a ghost.

Then Kara turned in her seat, back to Eliza, who looked a little embarrassed, though not angry. “Lucky guess?” Eliza said in an apologetic tone to the couple at the next table, shrugging her shoulders and then raising her hand to get the waiter’s attention. Kara’s smile had faded to a look of worry as she realized she’d once again made a social mistake.

“I’m sorry.” She said to Eliza. Then, wanting to explain, “I just—I’ve never heard—I don’t think I’ve ever met another pregnant woman.” She added, and Eliza’s expression softened.

“It’s alright. It seems you were right, based off her reaction.” Eliza said, her tone almost proud, and Kara smiled just a little.

“I don’t think that man with her knew, though.” Kara replied, cringing, and Eliza laughed.

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag now.” She said, laughing, as the waiter dropped off the bill, and Kara couldn’t help but laugh along. Eliza took her credit card out of her wallet and placed it on the bill without checking it before continuing. “And anyways, the truth is always the best option. You should do your best not to meddle in people’s business, but I think maybe, in this case, it’s better he knows.” She said, and Kara felt a weight lift off her chest.

“She’s having a boy.” Kara added, careful to lower her voice so the woman wouldn’t hear. She may make mistakes sometimes—okay, all the time—but she still tried to be a good person and follow the rules as much as she could. Eliza’s eyes widened.

“How—“ She started.

“I saw him.” Kara interrupted, explaining. “He’s sucking his thumb.” She added, smiling, her eyes bright. It had been the most amazing thing, using her xray vision and seeing the baby, safe and happy tucked in that woman’s womb. Absolutely amazing, that humans were capable of that. But _weird._ It was just so, so _weird._

Eliza’s mouth opened as if to respond, but then she closed it as though she’d lost her train of thought. Her face looked fascinated, her eyebrows tilting down just a little as she marvelled at Kara. “…Wow.” Eliza finally answered. “Incredible. But I think you should keep that to yourself, dear. They may not want to know.”

Kara nodded her head obediently. “Yes, Mom.” She agreed. She’d never reveal something like that to someone, not on purpose at least, but she understood the warning. She wanted to fit in on Earth, she couldn’t put her powers on display like that. She had to do her best to fit in. It was things like that that had prompted Mackenzie to call her ‘foster freak’ and reputations were hard to break. Kara had spent the whole rest of the school year trying her best to act normal, but she knew people still talked about what had happened that day. It would probably be a while before they forgot, if they ever did.

“Kara…” Eliza started, and Kara turned immediately, concerned with her foster mother’s nervous tone.

“Yes, Mom?” Kara asked, and Eliza’s concerned expression softened a little at the name.

“I have something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, and I think this is a good time.” She said, and Kara nodded, giving Eliza her full attention.

“Sure, anything.” Kara replied. She was a little nervous based on Eliza’s hesitation so she played with her napkin a little, looking at her expectantly. Her foster mother started to speak, then stopped, then started one more time before stopping again. Kara felt her nerves grow more and more as she waited.

“You know that woman… her baby.” She started, and Kara nodded. Was this a scolding? Was she in trouble? “I know things were different back home. That women didn’t carry babies inside them, there.”

“Right.” Kara answered.

“So you never grew up, thinking that one day you might have a baby.” She continued, and Kara couldn’t help it, she let out a laugh.

“NO!” She answered, giggling. “No way. Not like that, at least.” She added, giggling. What was Eliza getting at? A baby?

“Well, okay.” She said, stopping before she continued. “Then maybe it won’t matter, but, I still want to tell you the result of a test I ran.” She said, and Kara shrugged.

“Sure. What test?”

“I was just curious, I guess. And I thought you might want to know. It would be important to know, if you could, so you could be safe when you… but… Kara…” She stammered a little, completely out of character. Whatever the news was, she was very nervous about telling her and Kara felt her stomach shift in worry.

“Yes?” Kara answered nervously.

“I wanted to know if you could have one yourself.”

“Have what?” Kara asked, puzzled.

“A baby.” Eliza answered, and Kara felt her eyes widen in understanding. _Oh._

“ _Oh_.” Kara replied, a little dumbstruck.

“It seemed important, what with you in high school, so you knew to be careful.”

“Like so I don’t break their nose?” Kara asked, thinking back to Bobby Morris and the unfortunate incident that had happened under the bleachers. She shuddered, remembering. He’d sworn and avoided her like the plague afterward, though he was kind enough to tell everyone he tripped and hit a pole.

“No,” Eliza answered. “Well, yes. But a different kind of careful. With boys. But Kara, sweet heart, I found that on Earth, with boys here—men— your DNA isn’t compatible with humans. Yours contain an extra set of chromosomes, and even if you could, your body would reject it, your cells replenish at such an astonishing rate, and your invulnerability is internal as well as external… there would be no way for an embryo to implant in your uterus…” She said, her face grief stricken as she let the words hang, waiting for a reaction.

Kara sat there a moment, letting that information sink in. She supposed she was supposed to be feeling something right now. Based on Eliza’s hesitance and worry, she guessed she should be upset. She waited for the information to sink in, for the grief or regret to sink in, and yet it never came. In fact, now that she thought about it, she felt a tremendous amount of relief. Like a huge weight was lifted that she didn’t’ even know she had been carrying.

She supposed that she had worried, from the moment she found out about natural reproduction on Earth, that it might somehow happen to her. And she had tried to be okay with it, but the idea had never sat right. It felt wrong, not natural to her. But that wasn’t the whole of it. She had worried, so much, that she could pass her powers on to a baby, and it could hurt itself or someone else. She couldn’t imagine an innocent, sweet little baby dealing with the headaches that came along with the acclimation of super-hearing, and she didn’t know what would happen if the baby started blaring off heat vision uncontrollably when they were in the supermarket or something like that.

No, this was good news. She was sure of it. Assuming that one day she could learn to kiss without breaking noses, if she was ever… with a boy… (she blushed a little at the thought) well, it would be one less thing for her to worry about.

“Okay.” She answered, nodding her head resolutely.

“Okay?” Eliza asked, her voice relieved, but still worried.

“Okay.” Kara repeated, smiling widely. “I’m actually a little relieved.” She admitted, and Eliza beamed in relief.

“Okay!” She repeated, and the two of them laughed as the tension left atmosphere around their table and they relaxed once again. A moment later the waiter returned with the credit card machine, and Eliza was busy typing in her pin and speaking with the waiter. Kara leaned back in her chair, waiting, feeling her mind return back to its curious, relaxed state.

Without a hint of jealously or loss, she found herself absent mindedly staring over at the pregnant woman, fascinated by the *flutter*thump* of their heartbeats. She used her xray vision to look at the little baby, not even the size of her fist, and yet everything was there. Fingers, toes. His eyes were closed as he happily sucked his thumb, safe and sound in his mother. Kara smiled. Pregnancy was wonderful, but it wasn’t for her. It was a shame, but it was true. But it didn’t stop her from loving babies. Maybe Eliza could be convinced?

“Okay, time to go.” Eliza said, sliding her chair back and standing up. Kara stood up with her, rubbing her (almost) full tummy in satisfaction. Yum. The only thing that could make today better would be another ice cream cone. What a great lunch.

“Thanks, Eliza!” Kara said, sincerely. She now suspected that this whole trip to the city was just an elaborate means to break what Eliza had thought to be difficult news to Kara, but that didn’t darken or diminish the day. To the contrary, it filled Kara’s heart with warmth to know her foster mother loved her so much, that she would worry about such things. But Kara would be okay, Eliza didn’t need to worry about her. She was the girl of steel. Nothing could break her.

Turning back, Kara took one more look at the woman at the table next to theirs. She looked happy, and unless Kara was mistaken, she looked at her with an almost thankful look. The man looked happy, too. She supposed things had turned out okay, and she smiled back at the woman in relief. And before she turned to leave, her eyes trailed down to look at the woman’s tummy. It still looked quite thin, from the outside. But inside, hidden safely, was a little boy, just waiting to be born.

 

 

 

Kara stared at her reflection in the mirror across from her, her eyes fixed at her stomach as she nervously waited for Eliza to return. She kept using her x-ray vision, trying to see something, but nope, nothing. Maybe this was all in her head? Maybe. And what if it was? Would she be happy, or sad about that? Thinking about it, she really didn’t know. She’d never, _ever_ expected to be taking a pregnancy test, and if she did, she never thought she’d have to wonder what the result would be. _She can’t have kids._ That was a fact, that was something she had learned about herself years ago, she’d struck that thought from her mind as a teenager.

She’d never wanted kids, she never grew up with maternal instincts. As a girl on krypton she had always assumed one day, when she came of age, that she would have a child created and entrusted to herself, from the Matrix. But on Krypton, children were raised as much by their attendants and instructors as they were their parents. Kara’s parents had been more affectionate than most, she’d had a wonderful childhood, and for that she was eternally grateful, but… No, she just had never wanted that for herself. She’d been so relieved when she learned she would never conceive, all those years ago. Or, at least she had convinced herself she was.

But now… she had almost convinced herself it could be true. That she and Mon-El could have maybe, just possibly…. For not the first time that day, she stamped down her expectations that she felt creeping up down, deep inside her. At first, upon thinking that maybe she was pregnant, Kara had been horrified. No matter how guilty she felt now about that reaction, it was true. It was how she felt. But soon after, she found her attitude changing. Slowly but surely, she felt herself get curious. And then she began explaining all the weird feelings she’d been experiencing on it, almost accepting it as true. And then, against her better judgement, she found herself getting… excited. That was not smart. She had no idea what was happening to her. And she had, her entire life, been adamantly against ever having a child. Why would she suddenly feel differently?

And then she looked up at the man standing across from her, playing with a latex glove he’d pulled from a box on the desk. Oh yeah, that’s right. Him. Mon-El. That’s what had changed. She had met the man of her dreams, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Her soulmate. Duh. She watched with affection as he pinched the bottom of the glove and lifted it to his lips, blowing into it and inflating it like a balloon.

His face lit up as he realized it had worked, and he looked at Kara excitedly. “Look!” He said, holding up the round inflated glove, a smile splitting his face. “High five!” He said, holding the glove up to Kara and she laughed and lifted her hand up to slap the glove like he wanted. What a Goofus. He laughed, pleased with himself as he looked at the glove. Then he held it up to his chin like a chicken’s waddle and called out ‘Caw! Caw!’ and Kara cracked up, slapping him playfully.

“That’s not the sound roosters make.” She laughed, and he shrugged. She loved him so much, and she was so grateful for him breaking the tension for her. Without him, she’d be lost in her head, going crazy with anticipation and worry. What if she was pregnant? _What if she wasn’t?_

A moment later, Eliza stepped into the room and Mon-El let the air out of the glove balloon with a squeal. Kara’s eyes went straight to her foster mother’s face, trying to read her reaction. Her stomach dropped at what she saw. But maybe she was wrong…

“Mom—“ Kara said, wanting to cut to the chase. Eliza looked at her briefly but her eyes shot away quickly, guiltily down to the clipboard she was carrying. She bit her lip to try to conceal her expression, but Kara thought she already knew. _No…_

“Eliza!” Mon-El said brightly. He was still excited, not seeing what Kara saw in Eliza’s face. They’d both became quite resolved, accepting the idea almost as true. That was the purpose of the incident, biologically speaking, after all… Kara suddenly worried about Mon-El in the face of the news. How would he handle it? He was so excited…

“Hello, you sweet boy.” She said sadly, and Kara felt her heart sink. Mon-El’s smile faltered, and Kara knew he was picking up on her tone. He unconsciously reached sideways with his hand, groping for Kara’s own. Their fingers intertwined immediately and Kara felt Mon-El’s hand squeeze her own.

“Then it’s—it’s not—“ He said, suddenly, and Kara could hear his disappointment, his voice was soft, almost cracked.

“I’m sorry.” Eliza responded, looking down.

“Okay.” Kara answered, trying to come to terms with the news. Okay, fine. She wasn’t pregnant. No big deal, it’s not like she had ever planned for it, or wanted that. You can’t lose what you never wanted. And yet… she felt a pang of loss she couldn’t explain that she didn’t think would go away for some time. Maybe it was a bigger deal than she had given it credit for. But she’d survive, her and Mon-El. They’d survive together. “Okay.” She repeated, her voice sounding firm and confident, even if she didn’t feel totally that way in her heart. Even if she felt like a hole had gaped open inside her, right in her core, a hole that hadn’t been there before.

At Eliza’s hesitation, Mon-El’s eyes narrowed. “Not okay?” He asked, reading on Eliza’s face that that wasn’t the end of her news.

“What is it, Mom?” Kara asked, sharply. He was right, there was something else. At this, Eliza looked up from her clipboard.

“Am I that transparent?” Eliza asked, and Kara rolled her eyes.

“Just tell me what it is.” Kara said, impatient to know what the big deal was. She’d already taken a blow with the news, even if she didn’t know why it was so upsetting to hear, what else could there be?

Mon-El stepped in tighter to Kara, wrapping an arm protectively around her, his hand squeezing her shoulder. Eliza seemed to collect herself, swallow once, then raise her eyes steadily to Kara’s, not hiding anymore. “I was hoping your fever could be explained by a pregnancy.” She said, shrugging.

“Oh.” Kara said, understanding. Something was wrong with her. She raised her hand to touch Mon-El’s that was resting on her shoulder.

“What?” Mon-El asked, being somewhat willfully obtuse, Kara thought. Surely he understood as well as she did. “What is it?” He asked, persisting, maybe needing to hear it said aloud.

“I need to test further. But I’m not unworried.” Eliza answered, hesitantly but honestly, and Kara heard Mon-El’s heart skip a beat before speeding up, his breathing getting ragged.

“No.” He said, squeezing her tightly to his side.

“It could be nothing.” Eliza tried to calm him, she had no answers yet after all.

“NO.” He repeated, and Eliza sighed sympathetically and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“I need to test more. It could be nothing. You may be going through the… _change…_ again.” She said, adding the thought to make Mon-El feel better, and yet it set another layer of panic in Kara’s core. _Again?_ Already?

“No…” Kara whispered.

“But you’re worried about her. That she might be sick.” Mon-El said, sharply, his eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Eliza’s reaction.

“Mon-El, darling,” Eliza, responded, squeezing his shoulder once before stepping back and looking at the two of them sadly. “She’s my daughter.” She said, simply. “I always worry about her.” She added. But then her eyes narrowed in determination, and she smiled strongly as she closed her fingers into a fist. “But I won’t let anything happen to her. Not on my watch.” She said with a wink, and Kara smiled as she felt Mon-El’s grip loosen on her shoulder just a little.

“I trust you, Mom.” Kara said, suddenly. Wanting Eliza to know how much faith in her she had, even if Mon-El couldn’t help himself from worrying. But Eliza could do _anything_ in Kara’s mind. And being sick wasn’t a tangible worry in Kara’s mind, it was something that just didn’t feel real. She’d never been sick before, not really, it wasn’t something that she was used to worrying about. And yet, despite her confidence that she would be okay, she didn’t feel her spirits rise.

Her mind was still on the news they had received previously to that. She wasn’t pregnant. There would be no baby. No little bitty version of Mon-El to love and raise, to cover with kisses and love unconditionally. He would never exist, the little boy she had been picturing so vividly in her head. She placed her free hand over her stomach in an unconscious gesture and felt a gaping longing there as she did, her eyes stinging with a sadness she didn’t understand and couldn’t control. She would be okay, she would. She knew she would. But for now, she allowed herself to grieve. To feel the sting of loss and understand that it was okay to feel the way she did, even if she had never expected to feel this way. And suddenly, her mind could think of one thing and one thing only. _Ice cream._ She needed ice cream. Immediately.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, first off, I'm sorry this took so long! This chapter was a labour of love. The story is moving forward, but sometimes before you can move forward, you have to revisit the past. There's a lot of unresolved issues in Kara and Mon-El's past, and they were thrust into Mating Season with no warning. Now, they are dealing with the news that it had (thankfully?) been unsuccessful and there would be no baby. How will they deal with this information? And what is wrong with Kara? Lots of answers to come in this chapter, grab a snack and something to drink because it's going to be a long one! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I said the next chapter wouldn't be so long. But 15k later and here we are. Conty and I had a plan for this chapter and I just felt the best thing to do was keep it all housed in one chapter, because it's leading to something. All my love as always to my partner-in-crime Conty! We come up with this story as a complete back and forth of totally melding ideas and then I put it in words and I wouldn't still being going without her :) I hope you guys really enjoy this! And sorry again about how long it is! I hope you make it to the end :)
> 
> warning: Mon-El's past, in my opinion, wasn't pretty. And this chapter delves into that. Just a warning. But the past has to be confronted before we can move forward.

                             “Mon-El, GET out from under there! Do you think I don’t see you, you stupid, selfish boy?” Rhea quietly demanded, her voice infinitely more terrifying in this tone than it was when she would yell. But she couldn’t yell right now, not with the kitchen servants around. Not that she couldn’t yell in front of her own servants, just that she _wouldn’t._ She worked carefully to cultivate her public image and it wouldn’t do for gossip mongers and whisperers to spread the truth. To the public she was ruthless and strong, but also wise and just. The people loved her. Very few people ever got to know how sadistic and cruel she really was.

              Mon-El stayed where he was, frozen in place, too scared to move. He could tell he was in for it this time. He didn’t know what else he should have expected. Of course Mother would find out. She seemed to know all and be everywhere. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to have a friend. _A real_ friend, that is. Not the spoiled, unkind ‘approved’ brats of the Daxamite dignitaries that Rhea would bring by for “socialization”. Mon-El had to pretend to get along with them to save himself from a hiding, though some of them made his skin crawl.

He felt Lon behind him shift and heard him whimper and Mon-El carefully reached behind him to give his friend a warning pinch. He didn’t think his mother had seen him, and he was terrified to know what she might do if she did. Mon-El had been warned twice already to stay away from the kitchen boy, so whatever happened to Lon as a result of this was Mon-El’s fault. He felt a weight sink to the bottom of his stomach and a sick feeling rise in his throat. This wasn’t going to be good.

              “By the gods, I swear if you don’t come out this very instant your punishment will be much, much worse you insolent little whelp.” She spat, shooting a threatening eye at a kitchen staff-maid who made the unfortunate mistake of looking over at her at the wrong time. “The _slaves_ are staring.” She added to Mon-El, her tone full of acid. “You’ll pay for this.”

              Mon-El felt the familiar urge to cry almost overwhelm him, but even at six years old he already knew better than that. Crying was weakness. Daxamites didn’t cry. _Royalty_ didn’t cry. Though Mon-El didn’t care about those things, he just knew that if a single salty tear fell down his cheek, his beating would be much, much worse. That was all the motivation he needed, so he swallowed it back and he should have left it at that. Got up right then and followed his mother’s orders. But this was Mon-El, and he could just never seem to keep his mouth shut. Once the tears were averted, he couldn’t help himself.

              “Oh no, not the slaves!” Mon-El responded in a mocking tone, his little voice dripping in sarcasm, and he regretted it almost instantly. Why was he like this? He had swallowed the urge to cry but in its place rose a defiant streak of snark. Bad, _bad_ Mon-El! He always seemed to default to sarcasm, to joking around at the worst times, because he couldn’t handle the tension. He knew it would make things worse, how could it possibly help? And yet he couldn’t help himself. Rhea’s eyes widened in anger, unsurprisingly.

              “Your father will not be pleased to hear about your insolence.” She said simply, her tone threatening, and Mon-El swallowed. _His father._ Rao, no, please. Not him. Most beatings Rhea performed herself, Mon-El over her knee, behind closed doors for not a single slave to see. She said that the populace had to believe the Royal family to be perfect, flawless, without requirement of such base levels of punishment. But, Rhea assured Mon-El, no one was above a raised hand (or belt). How else would he learn to behave properly, as a prince should, she said. And Mon-El had been a monumental disappointment, he had heard many times, so he needed more guiding than most. She cursed him every time, for making her stoop to such behaviours unbefitting a queen, but she couldn’t allow a slave to raise a hand to a prince, even one that was ordered to. So she had to do it herself. Or, on occasion, when she was _really_ bad, send him to his father’s chamber.

              “No.” He said, his voice weakening, and his mother’s lips turned up in a cruel smile.

              “Yes.” She said simply, her voice saccharine sweet but oh so deadly. “Come out now, and I may just spare that lowborn bastard you think you’re hiding behind you.” She finished, and Mon-El felt his heart sink at the words. _No. Not Lon._ “If I have to drag you out by your ankles, it will not be good for the boy.” She said, already knowing she’d won.

              “I’ll come out, Mother.” He said, reaching back to touch his friend, possibly for the last time, but held his ground. “But you have to promise not to hurt Lon.” He bargained, and she laughed.

              “Lon? It has a name?” She asked, before continuing. “Come out now and I’ll consider it.” She added, and that was the best he was going to get. Mon-El looked back once to see the frightened look on his friend’s face before crawling out from under the counter. They’d been playing in an alcove in the back of the pantry, Mon-El still didn’t know how Rhea had found him.

              Mon-El’s mother was silent as they left the kitchens. Rather than pull him out by his ear like he knew she wanted to do, she still had appearances to keep up, so instead she placed a firm hand with a deadly grip on his shoulder and guided him out of the palace cellar and up to the private Royal quarters, where only the Gand line, invited guests, and their immediate personal attendants were able to visit. They walked in silence, the anticipation of waiting driving Mon-El crazy, but the moment they entered an empty corridor, she spoke.

              “The Matrix must have made a mistake. No son of mine would ever dishonour themselves in such a debase manner.” She said, her tone saddened, disappointed, passive-aggressive. Mon-El said nothing, just looked down at his feet as he sped to keep up with his Mother’s long, striding pace. At his silence, Rhea continued. “ _Fraternizing with slaves?_ I’d have you replaced, have the Matrix provide me a _proper_ heir, if I could. One that understands propriety and duty. One that appreciates the Daxamite way, unlike yourself. If you like slaves so much, maybe you should _be_ one.” She said harshly and Mon-El swallowed.

              “Mother, I’m sorry.” He said, meaning every word of it. He was. He was sorry for everything. Mostly for getting caught, but it was more than that. He was sorry he wasn’t more what she desired in a son. He was weak, he was soft, he knew that about himself. He was a terrible Daxamite and an even worse prince. He showed kindness when he shouldn’t, and a generosity to those stationed below him even though he wasn’t supposed to. The palace servants loved him, when instead they should have feared him. He kept trying to change that about himself, but he continued to fail. He’d stayed out of the kitchens for weeks, behaved like a proper prince, and Rhea had been loving and praising the entire time. But today he’d felt lonely, and couldn’t help himself when he set off to find his friend. When would he ever learn?

              “But I can’t replace you.” She continued, disregarding his apology. “Not now that you’ve been formally presented to the public. How would we explain your absence? Your death would bring dishonor to our family.” Mon-El frowned and scrunched his eyebrows. Not at the not-so-veiled death threat, that was normal. She didn’t mean that for real, she loved him. She was just disappointed by him constantly, it was his fault. At least, that was his perception of the matter. No, it wasn’t that.

He was caught by a sudden memory of his presentation, two years prior. It was a ceremony on the steps of the An-Gand temple shrine to a crowd of hundreds of thousands. They had gathered to meet the little prince for the first time. He had been 4 years old, and he remembered the day not for the ceremony or the crowd or the procession of gifts that followed. No, he remembered it for a much different reason. It had been the first time he had ever met his father.

“I said I’m sorry, Mother.” He repeated, desperation lacing his words. Rhea smiled at him, an icy, cold smile that told Mon-El she was satisfied with his fear.

              “No, you’re not, or you wouldn’t have disobeyed my wishes yet again. But you will be. Your father will see to it that you understand the error of your ways.” She said, and Mon-El swallowed, knowing what was to come, and knowing that arguing would only make it worse. After that day at the presentation ceremony, the first time he’d met his Father, his Mother had told him he was now officially a prince and it was time to start acting like one. And since that time, Mon-El’s only interaction with the King, his Dad, was for disciplinary “instruction”.

Mon-El had asked his Mom once, while they were on good terms, why he never got to see his father. She had told him that a King’s duty was to rule, not to raise children. Mon-El was born out of necessity of an heir, and his father would correct his behaviour as Rhea saw fit in order to create a future King befitting the Gand name, to rule the Great and Mighty Daxam. He did not have a son to sit on his knee or to coddle, he had a son to rule, and according to Rhea, Mon-El wasn’t worthy of Lar-Gand’s much demanded-upon time. Maybe if he shaped up and stopped disappointing them so much, he would one day make them proud and earn his place by his Father’s side. But until then, he would be kept in the palace, away from the public eye where he could embarrass them, until he could be shaped into the prince they wanted. Mon-El privately thought that would take a _lot_ of beatings.

As they arrived at the entry to his private chambers, Rhea motioned with her hands for the guards to open the giant gilded doors without stopping, expecting them to be open by the time she arrived. The guards, hidden under their helmets, jumped to obey their Queen and pushed the doors wide. As they opened they revealed a large, ornate chamber. It was dark now, the lamps unlit, just the dim red light of the fading sun providing light. Rhea marched Mon-El in without comment, towards the throne at the back of the room. And there he was. Lar-Gand, King of Daxam, Mon-El’s father. To Mon-El, he seemed larger than life, like he was 8 feet tall. But he wasn’t alone. There were two scantily clad slave girls on his lap, giggling and covering him with kisses, distracting the King enough that he hadn’t noticed them enter. Rhea cleared her throat, and a glazed-over, dosed-up Lar-Gand looked up, smiling widely as he finally noticed them.

“My beloved wife!” He called out, greeting Rhea, as if the two girls weren’t draped over him like robes. Mon-El looked up at his mother, but her expression was inscrutable. She looked angry, but he was fairly certain her anger was directed towards him, not his fathers’ whores. After all, Mon-El had overheard more than a few conversations between his mother and the girls, and he got the impression that she oversaw them in some capacity, maybe even hand-picked them. All of this was normal to him of course, having grown up exclusively in the palace and having no other frame of reference. But it still made Mon-El uncomfortable, though he had no idea why. He assumed it was just because he was young, that it would make sense when he got older. He hoped.

“Husband.” Rhea replied, bowing her head just a little in greeting, and Lar-Gand frowned, hearing the displeasure in her voice. That seemed to be when he noticed Mon-El for the first time, his eyes widening a little before narrowing as he leaned forward to get a better look.

“And is that—is that my son you have with you?” He asked.

“You wouldn’t know it, the way he behaves. But yes, Lar-Gand, this is your son. Mon-El is in need of some of your assistance.” She said, her iron grip on his shoulder shoving him forward. Mon-El shuffled forward a few steps, his head hung but his big eyes focused up on the terrifying man on the throne.

“Already?” Lar-Gand asked, his brows narrowing as he appraised Mon-El. Took him apart with his gaze. “Didn’t I see him, not just a few months ago? He looks the same, he couldn’t have grown more than an inch since the last time.”

“It seems our very stupid son requires more of your valuable time.” Rhea spat.

“What is it this time?” His father asked, his disappointment and annoyance evident.

“He still debases himself in the kitchen, fraternizing with _slaves_ as though they were his equal. He disgraces our name. Never, in the history of the Gand line has—“She paused to collect herself, to keep her voice from rising. “If word of this ever got out, we’d be humiliated. Our enemies would see it as a sign of weakness. _He is making us vulnerable,_ Lar-Gand, he _must_ be taught to extinguish this weakness. Immediately.” Her voice was commanding, serious. She was completely disgusted with the way Mon-El had turned out. He felt the familiar burning in his eyes as he stood there, listening to her, willing the tears not to drop. It would be harder on him if he cried.

For several long seconds, Lar-Gand appeared to be thinking. Judging how painful the beating would be, Mon-El thought. They wouldn’t break any bones… right? They couldn’t, he was a prince. How could they… but his mother seemed so angry. And his father ultimately did whatever Mother wanted. Mon-El may be stupid, but he wasn’t stupid enough not to know who to fear the most.

“I would like to hear from you, boy, tell me just what you did to bring you to my chambers, to disturb me in my revelry. Why are you here?” Lar-Gand asked, his deep voice booming, his glossy eyes still piercing, his physical presence looming over him, an unspoken threat. A promise. Mon-El swallowed, willing himself to speak. His mind raced to find the perfect words but they wouldn’t come. Instead, something else came out. Something awful. Something he regretted instantly. He should be scared. He should be reverent. He _was._ But instead, he just shrugged.

“I guess I just missed you, Dad.” He said, and he saw Lar-Gand’s eyes widen in shock. If Mon-El wasn’t mistaken, he thought he read some mirth in his expression, that his shock was from surprise, not anger. But before he had long to think on it, he heard his mother shriek and felt his knees get kicked in from behind. Mon-El crashed painfully to his knees, and he cried out in surprise, but stifled himself quickly. A moment later he felt his mother’s foot on the back of his neck, forcing him down against the ground in a bow.

“INSOLENT BRAT!” Rhea screamed. “He needs to be taught respect! We don’t need him publically until his thirteenth year for the latching ceremony, maybe he should be locked up until then.”

She meant it, Mon-El could hear it in her voice. “I’m sorry!” He screamed, his voice muffled due to his face being pressed against the floor.

“I’ll make you sorry.” She threatened. “Lar-Gand, what will you do with your son?” She asked, and a pause filled the room as Mon-El awaited his doom.

“He says he is sorry.” Lar-Gand reasoned, but Mon-El knew better than to get his hopes up just yet.

“He is lying.” She spat.

“I think not, actually.” Lar-Gand continued. “I don’t think he can help it. He’s soft. Has terrible self control. The fear of a beating does nothing to curb his unwanted behaviours.” He stated. “And I think he genuinely is sorry for that.”

“But sorry does not make a prince worthy of your name!” Rhea retorted, outrage rising in her voice as she believed Lar-Gand was preparing to show Mon-El mercy.

“You are, as always, quite right my dear wife.” He replied, and Mon-El felt his stomach sink. “Bring him here.” He added, and Mon-El felt the pressure release off the back of his neck, the pain easing in false relief before he felt himself being yanked back to his feet. As soon as he got his feet on the ground again, he was being shoved forward by his mother.

“March!” She commanded, and Mon-El complied. He climbed the steps until he was before the throne. Up close, Mon-El could smell the Zakkarian Ale, could see the discarded and spilled chalices around tossed about.

“Father.” Mon-El said, bravely, trying not to focus on the exposed breast of one of the slave girls on his lap, or the way the other fawned all over him, like Mon-El wasn’t even standing there. Like Rhea wasn’t just down the steps from them.

“You’re not all stupid, I think.” Lar-Gand said, appraisingly, ignoring him, as though Mon-El hadn’t spoken at all. “I think Rao gifted you with charm and wit, I can’t deny. And a fool can never possess wit.” He continued.

“But he refuses to learn his lessons. This is the third time with that same boy from the kitchens! This will be his _third_ beating for the same offence. He is stupid, he cannot learn.” She argued.

“It would seem you care about the kitchen boy more than yourself.” Lar-Gand said, and Mon-El winced. It was not good for Lon if they thought that.

“No, Father.” Mon-El said, shaking his head but being careful to keep it bowed, his head down but his eyes still trained up at Lar-Gand.

“Husband, you’re right.” Rhea said from behind him, and there was something triumphant in her voice. Finally, Mon-El’s resolve failed and his eyes sank to the floor along with his heart. “I was just going to have him killed and remove the distraction, but you have just given me a better idea.”

Then Rhea turned to leave, and Mon-El could hear her heels clicking and echoing off the chamber until she was gone. As soon as he knew she was gone, a single tear dripped from his eye and splashed onto the marble floor below, but he didn’t dare sniff or wipe his cheek. He hoped his father didn’t notice.

When Rhea was truly gone, Mon-El realized that this was the first time he had ever been left alone with his father. His mother had always been there to supervise their “visits” and protect him from his father’s rage. Or so she told him. Many times she had applied ice to his bruises afterwards, telling him that she would direct Lar-Gand’s every move only to prevent him from hurting Mon-El too much. That Mon-El should be thankful she cared so much about him.

Suddenly, Mon-El was very afraid. This was the man he feared most in all the world. He forced his eyes to look up at the man that gave him life, the man that Mon-El was supposed to become one day. But what he saw there wasn’t rage, it was curiosity. He was glazed over and in the throes of the Zakkarrian Ale, Mon-El could tell. He’d never seen him not in that state, actually. And he knew Mother was constantly instructing the servants to go refill his cups.

“You’re afraid.” He said, surprising Mon-El with the softness in his voice. Mon-El had never heard him use that tone before. It caught him off guard.

“Well… yeah, pretty much.” Mon-El replied, and his eyes widened once again in horror at his disrespect and inability to treat serious moments with a serious attitude. But to his surprise, Lar-Gand chuckled instead of smacking him across the face like he deserved.

“That’s probably a good thing. Necessary. But… I’m sorry.” He said, his voice soft, and Mon-El felt choked. He didn’t know what to say. Who was this man, speaking to him right now? Was this the man he was without Mother around? He was _sorry?_ For what??

When Mon-El didn’t answer, Lar-Gand continued. “You know, you’re a likeable boy. I think you’ll do well in the court with that attitude of yours, once you learn to accept the life you’ve got and behave as your mother instructs you to. You’re brazen and humorous, the men will want to be around you and the women will spread their legs for you readily. You just need to learn to behave as a Prince should. Take heed of your lessons.”

“Yes, Father.” Mon-El replied, flabbergasted, not knowing what to say or how to process it.

“I know it isn’t easy for you. I remember what it was like. But they made a King of me and I’ll make a King of you, do you understand? There are a thousand generations of Gands that have sat in this hall, we cannot allow our family name to become weak if we are to hold our seat of power. You know the Ards are just waiting to find a crack in the armour, to find reason to oust us and usurp what is ours.” Lar-Gand said, his voice becoming more animated as he talked, more adamant. He slammed a fist down on the leg of a slave girl to emphasize his point. She made the mistake of whimpering in pain, taking Lar-Gand’s attention off of Mon-El and bringing it back to her. His eyes narrowed and he slapped her wholly across the face in response to her outburst, causing her to crash back off of his lap and onto the ground beside the throne.

Mon-El wanted to run to help her, but he knew better. “You want something to cry about?” Lar-Gand asked her, and she shook her head, bowing it in deference. “That’s what I thought, now go fill my cup, wench.” Lar-Gand demanded, and she quickly gathered the fallen chalices and ran from the palace chamber, her bare feet slapping the marble as she ran. Then Lar-Gand turned back to Mon-El.

“Your mother will never accept you until you learn that you are Royal. That means you are better than everyone else. You have to understand, son, that these slaves are not _people._ You can’t think of them as such. They are _possessions._ The only thing a slave girl is good for is filling your cup or warming your cock. Once you understand that, once you _accept_ it, everything will be easier for you.”

Mon-El swallowed, feeling the words sink in in a new way. His mother had been saying the same thing to him for as long as he remembered, but it never felt as real as it did now, to hear his father say them in such calm and measured tones. To hear that he went through the same thing. Mon-El didn’t have a choice. He was going to have to find a way to fight his very core nature and be what they wanted him to be. “Yes, Father.” Mon-El whispered, the harsh reality of the knowledge threatening to overwhelm him.

“I see you are starting to understand. And I believe your Mother has a new lesson in mind for you, too. Soon you will be the Prince you were meant to be, and you’ll thank us for it.” He said, pausing for Mon-El to acknowledge him. Mon-El felt his head buzzing, but he knew enough to speak when spoken to.

“Yes, Father.” He said, and Lar-Gand smiled.

“That’s my boy. Now come here and we will apply this lesson physically. I get no pleasure from this but it is a Father’s duty, son. It isn’t enough, just to tell you. You must be shown. You will take it like the man you are and I will praise you to your mother afterwards, tell her of your strength. Come now, son.” Lar-Gand said, and Mon-El looked up at him, holding his hand out and smiling. If Mon-El squinted, it was almost as if he was reaching out to embrace him. Mon-El reached out his hand and allowed his imagination to pretend that his father was about to pull him into his arms and comfort him. That’s what Fathers did on some planets, Mon-El knew. But not here. Not on Daxam. Especially not at the Noble house of Gand. Instead, Mon-El scrunched up his eyes and waited for the first blow to land. It was in the gut, and Mon-El felt the wind leave him, but he didn’t cry out. He just waited for the next blow. And the next.

 

 

 

 

“Oof” Mon-El said, slowly getting up and laughing off the pain after being punched across the street, bending a streetlight in half as he slammed into it. “That’s gonna leave a mark.” He said, groaning and cracking his neck. “On the lamp, that is. Because, you know… super skin.” He added, and Kara smiled over at him. She’d insisted on helping, despite them having no answers as to what was wrong with her. Mon-El worried about her, that Eliza thought she was sick, but she seemed to be holding her own. And she insisted she was okay. And truthfully, Mon-El wouldn’t have had this handled without her, as evidenced by the folded over street light behind him. They’d been battling the monster all morning, pursuing it across half of National City, trying to keep it away from people and too much property damage. It was strong, and they couldn’t seem to get it cornered.

The problem was they didn’t want to hurt it. It was just a regular old peaceful, non-superpower having alien, but it had been transformed into a monster after having eaten some baaaaad sushi. Or whatever it was they ate. They were fed after midnight or got wet? Mon-El didn’t know. It was a real Mogwai/Gremlins situation and all Mon-El knew was that Eliza thought she had the antidote, if they could just capture the thing alive.

“You’re really good at taking a punch, you know that man? A real pro.” Winn’s voice asked in his ear, and Mon-El snorted.

“Aww, thanks, man!” Mon-El replied jovially, rolling his shoulders, preparing to get back into the fight. “That means a lot.” He added, and Winn chuckled.

“I guess Kara does most of the punching in your sparring sessions.” Winn added, and, while true, Kara stepped in defensively.

“Hey, he gets a hit in, every once in a while.” She said, and Mon-El smiled over at her as he dodged a right hook and the giant, green, oozy fist flew over his head.

“When she lets me”--“When I let him.” They said, at the same time, and Winn laughed.

“A match made in heaven.” He observed romantically. Then he paused, and added. “Literally, a match made in weird, Alien pon-farr heaven.” And Mon-El chuckled as he unleashed a powerful haymaker punch that missed the monster by inches.

“I give the punches and he takes them? Doesn’t seem fair.” Kara pouted before blasting the alien with her heat vision, causing it to cry out in pain and retreat farther down the street. They pursued, Mon-El on the ground and Kara flying. He tried not to think about his recent and abrupt abject jealousy of her ability to fly. It had never been an issue, but he’d been having some weirdly vivid dreams recently, and suddenly had such a desire to be able to do it as well. Though he’d never resent her for it. Never in a million years. He loved that woman so damned much it made him ache inside sometimes.

“Don’t worry, babe, I’m a pro. Years of practice.” Mon-El reassured her as he ran and leaped off the top of a car. This time, his fist connected with the beast’s face, square in the jaw, and it staggered back as Mon-El turned his shifting momentum into a flip and he landed gracefully back down on the ground. He smiled widely at the satisfying feeling of punching something… _hard._ “But look! I’m learning to fight back!” He added, and he was smiling, not meaning anything by it, when he saw Kara’s face turn to a frown and that cute little wrinkle showed on her forehead. Only it wasn’t cute now because she was worried about something. Had he said something stupid? Something he shouldn’t? Something that upset her?

“Years?” Winn asked. “You’ve only been on Earth for, like, ten months?” He seemed confused, but Kara looked downright worried.

“Years?” She asked, and Mon-El felt himself start to panic as he realized he had said something wrong. He was upsetting everyone. This was supposed to be a fun Thursday morning beat-em-up, not a Very Special episode of Dr. Phil. He’d told Kara a lot about his past, alluded to a lot, but he’d never gone into the horrible specifics. But it shouldn’t have mattered, why would he tell her and upset her? Especially now that she was sick. He was over it, he’d turned out half decent. That was just his way of life. He hadn’t known any other way, back then, and it was over now. He’d survived, he had escaped. He was on Earth now, Daxam was behind him.

“What?” He asked. “Can’t a guy reference his dark and disturbing past without everyone getting all serious and uncomfortable on me?” He joked, and heard Winn laugh over the com, but Kara wasn’t looking happy. She was looking downright upset, and when Kara was upset, Mon-El wanted… no, _needed_ to make her _un-_ upset. Or, happy. He supposed the real word was happy, but who cared about words when Kara was frowning like that? Without thinking, he reached up and turned off his earpiece.

“Babe, I’m sorry. Don’t look like that, hey—I’m fine, okay?” He said, his tone soft, his eyes trained on Kara so much so that he didn’t notice as the monster grabbed him around his middle and threw him at a building across the street. As he tried to remove the rubble that had fallen on top of him, he heard Kara scream and a loud crash, and suddenly she was there, helping him to his feet.

When he finally got out from underneath everything, he looked up at the woman he loved and saw tears in her eyes and suddenly he wanted the monster to throw him against another building. He deserved it. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have let it slip. Except… it had been on his mind recently. A lot, actually. Since they found out that Kara wasn’t pregnant.

It had been years since he had looked back on his formative years, on those “lessons” he had endured at the hand of his father under the eye of his mother. He’d learned to accept them as necessary, felt like he’d deserved it, and eventually gave in to their ways at quite a young age, so it had been a long, long time. He’d buried the memories, repressed them as best he could, and just accepted the ones that remained as a part of him.

But ever since he had found out there was no baby, and that he wouldn’t be a father, he’d been thinking a lot about his _own_ father. Asking himself what kind of role-models he had had growing up. And the answer was, he had none. His role models encouraged him to be selfish, punished him for any sign of kindness or generosity. They used people and disposed of them when they were finished. That was the kind of person he really was, at his core. As much as he fought it, that would always be the basis of who he was.

Huh… maybe he wasn’t so fine, after all. He knew, as long as he had Kara, that ultimately everything would be okay. But he also knew he didn’t deserve her, not for a second. For some reason she was giving him a chance, though, so he would spend every day of the rest of his life trying to deserve her. He couldn’t change his past, but the future was his, and the future was Kara. But he couldn’t help but feel ultimately relieved about the loss of their potential child. At least for now.

At first, he had been devastated. He’d gotten swept up in it all, had foolishly believed it to be true before knowing for sure, and had really started to put all of his eggs in that basket. _He was going to be a dad… to Kara’s child!_ They would be linked together, forever. Bonded deeper than they were even now, after they’d gone through so much together this spring. The idea was too exciting, too crazy, and he hadn’t thought it through. But now that he had time to reflect, he started to remember things from his past and wonder what kind of father he would be. And with a past like his… how could he possibly be a good one?

All these thoughts raced through his head in an instant as he looked at the teary-eyed emotional look of worry on Kara’s face. “Babe—“ Mon-El said, not knowing what to say. But then he saw the monster rise behind her. “Babe!!!” He screamed, trying to speed in front of her to take the hit but it was too late. The monster batted her aside like a cat with a mouse and Kara crashed into a car that rolled into a fire hydrant. Water sprayed everywhere as Mon-El darted forward to take the creature’s focus off of his girlfriend.

“Not today, Shrek!” He bellowed out to distract it as he ran towards the towering green monster. He couldn’t help but be grateful yet again to know Kara wasn’t pregnant, after seeing her take such a punishing blow. He knew she could bounce back, even in her current state, but a baby? He wasn’t so sure. Yeah, this was all for the better. Now, Mon-El and Kara could just focus on each other. And crime-fighting, of course. Though they’d have to figure out why she was sick and how to fix it, she seemed be doing alright so far. But the point was, he already had enough on his plate, at least he didn’t have a whole other person that would constantly be consuming his thoughts and worries. He worried enough about Kara, and she was Supergirl, for Rao’s sake.

It worked. The monster turned slowly back towards Mon-El. So slowly, he was able to get in under its guard and scale the creature. The putrid ooze it secreted was disgusting, but Mon-El was seeing red. This thing had hurt Kara. It needed to die. Well, not die. But it needed to get punched. _Hard._

Soon Mon-El was balanced on the monster’s shoulder, and he began to unleash powerful, crushing blows to the creature’s head. He started shouting between strikes. “KEEP” *punch* “YOUR” *punch* “HANDS” *punch* “OFF” *punch* “HER!!!” And the last shattering blast saw the monster fall onto its back, Mon-El hopping off before it hit the ground, right under the spray of the broken hydrant. Immediately the Monster started shrieking, and a strange mist started rising off of its body. Mon-El helped Kara to her feet and they both watched in guarded fascination as the monster shrunk back down into a very small, gilled alien.

“Huh, I guess he doesn’t like taking showers.” Mon-El observed, then leaned forward and waved his hand past his nose. “ _Unhygienic.”_ He said, and Kara made a ‘harummf’ noise, acknowledging him but not quite laughing. That wasn’t like her. She was still upset. “Oh babe, what is it? Come on, I _know_ Winn would have laughed at that, if our coms had been on. And look! I took it down! I never take them down!”

At his untethered brightness and enthusiasm, Kara couldn’t help but crack a smile. Good, that’s what he had been hoping for. Even if he was still feeling a little uneasy over his recent trips down memory lane, he was already feeling it all dissolve back into their familiar state of repression. All that mattered now was that Kara wasn’t pregnant, he didn’t have to become the world’s worst father, and she was smiling again. Kara smiling was his number one priority.

“Your brilliant plan of using his one weakness against him worked perfectly, Mon-El!” She enthused sarcastically, and Mon-El crossed his arms defensively.

“Hey, how do you know that wasn’t my plan?” He whined.

“You’re right, I’m sure it was.” She agreed, clearly not believing him.

“I still took it down.” He argued, and Kara laughed, leaning in to hug him. Mon-El wrapped his arms around her tightly as she did, pressing her against himself.

“Way to punch, babe.” Kara said, smiling into his chest, and he felt himself swell with pride. With Kara still pressed to his side, Mon-El lifted his hand off her back to tap the earpiece he had disabled before the fight had ended.

“Winn? Hey- Winn?” Mon-El asked, not hearing anything but a weird buzzing feedback. “We’ve got Gizmo secure and there’s a big mess to clean up.” He said, tapping his ear trying to clear the tapping buzz. He couldn’t hear anything in response from Winn. “Kara, is your com working?”

              Kara took her arms from around him and stepped back, tapping her own ear and calling out “Winn? Can you hear me?”, then she looked back at Mon-El and shrugged. “Guess not, it’s buzzing I can’t hear him. I suppose I’ll have to fly him back, can you make it back to the DEO on your own?” She asked, her tone still a little worried, and he smiled to reassure her.

              “I think I can make it.” He said seriously, and she smiled.

              “I know you can.” She replied, and then her smile widened, her eyes brightening with pride. “And way to go, Mon-El! You keep this up and you’re going to have to think of your own superhero name, otherwise the press is going to assign you one.” She laughed, carefully picking up the unconscious little green alien that had caused so much destruction.

              “I’ve been toying around with ‘Better Superman’, what do you think?” He asked, and Kara barked a laugh.

              “I think Clarke might have some notes.” She said, simply, before leaning forward for a small kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you soon!” She said, before disappearing into the sky.

              “Bye babe.” Mon-El said with a wave, though she was already long gone, halfway back to the DEO.

              “Huh? What? Bye? Is it over? Did you win?” Winn’s voice was back, the headset must be working again.

              “Great timing, man. The coms went out so Kara is taking him in right now, she’ll be there any second.” Mon-El replied, surveying the damage around him in the street as he spoke.

              “Huh, I’ll have to check them out when you come in, because I could hear you fine, after you turned it back on. By the way, I think you have to keep working on your Superhero name. You’re pretty strong and invulnerable… what do you think about _Iron Man_?” He asked, and Mon-El made a face.

              “Pass.” Mon-El said, blowing it off. His eyes fixed on a flower cart in the distance. The operator was standing there, staring at the destruction that had fortunately come to an end a block before it would have possibly destroyed his cart. Mon-El didn’t know why he hadn’t run like everyone was supposed to, but maybe it was a good thing. Kara liked flowers, and Mon-El had said something stupid to upset her. He needed to apologize, and he hoped a pretty bouquet might lift her spirits. She had been so up and down since they had gotten the news a couple weeks ago, he knew she was going through a lot, and all he wanted to do was make her smile. Maybe some yellow flowers, like her hair. He started to head towards the flower cart, a plan in mind.

              “What?! Why not? Iron Man is a great name!” Winn objected, and Mon-El laughed.

              “No, that name would never take off. The people wouldn’t like it.”

              “How do you know?”

              “Okay, _I_ don’t like it.” Mon-El conceded, and Winn sighed.

              “Well I don’t see you coming up with anything better.”

              “I’m sure it’ll come to me when the time is right. Maybe I’ll ask Cisco for help, I hear he names all the supers on Earth 1.” Mon-El answered, ignoring Winn’s gasp of outrage. He was a little distracted as he approached the cart and the wide variety of flowers there. “Hey, Winn…” He continued, ignoring Winn’s whimpers of jealousy. “Do you happen to know if Kara has a favourite flower?”

 

 

 

 

 

              “And this, my Prince, is a rare delicacy from the farthest corner of the known universe. A flower from the Omurant tree. It only blooms once every 3 years, under the light of the double eclipse on the planet Hybiscant. One of its petals provides a euphoria that lasts over a week. It is the rarest of the rare, a most precious gift indeed. I had it plucked, just for you for this momentous day. It is my deepest hope that you will enjoy it, and think of House Mard.” The noble sycophant babbled, holding the strange red flower up in both hands, his head bowed.

              Mon-El tried not to roll his eyes. How long was this going to last? He’d been receiving gifts for the past two hours. He didn’t even want to _BE_ latched, let alone have to sit, all dressed up in ceremonial clothes while ass-kisser after ass-kisser tried to buy his love with gifts in celebration of it. What did it matter, anyways? He was only 13, his father would be around for many years to come. He didn’t see why the whole latching thing couldn’t be put off until he was older. It wasn’t like Lar-Gand was going anywhere.

              “Oh, cool. A flower. Thanks.” Mon-El said in response, his tone dry and sarcastic. And you’d think he had just sentenced the man to castration, the nobleman looked so upset by his apparent displeasure with the gift.

              “My Lord! If- if this is not to your liking, I can, I can—“ He stammered. Mon-El watched in amusement as he stumbled over his words, so desperate to earn political cache that he was willing to get _another_ gift, despite the rarity and expense of the one in his hands. And it’s not like Mon-El would ever even look at any of these gifts ever again, anyways. They would all be housed in rooms, some on display, but none had any of his interest. Nothing much of anything kept his interest, actually, except Zakkarian ale and chasing noble girls for fun. But actually, the flower sounded kind of cool. A week straight of euphoria sounded kind of great. Anything to numb the passage of time.

              “No, no, Minister Mard. The flower is great.” Mon-El finally followed up, putting the man out of his misery. “I look forward to… sampling it.” He added. He would have let him flounder a little longer, but he was getting death stares from his mother. She stood behind him, on his right, so he couldn’t actually see her, but he still knew whenever her gaze turned disapproving. He could feel the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, every time. It had been years since his last beating, years since he had finally been broken, made to understand the reality he was born into, and since then his mother had been very agreeable. But he never forgot, and all it took was one of her icy glares to stop him doing whatever the hell he was doing that made her mad. It just wasn’t worth it. Not when she would just take it out on Lon.

The ceremony went on for another two long, torturous hours. The only thing that made it bearable was the knowledge that his parents had to stand, the entire time. Because it was his latching ceremony, Mon-El and his partner were presented on thrones for the important people of Daxam to lavish with gifts, while their parents stood behind them, as a sign of approval and familial line.

Mon-El still couldn’t remember the girl’s name. Ji? Lo? It was one of the two. Or maybe it was May? She was from house Ren, a daughter of a distant cousin of his Mother. Her parents were very wealthy, and extremely influential due to their ties to Kryptonian trade. Very few Daxamites had any sway on Krypton, and prissy as they were, they had a lot of things that Daxam needed, so the relationship was important. Mon-El had never met her before, and had been told he wouldn’t meet her again until they were 18 and they would undergo the second, final ceremony. And then she would move to the palace and Mon-El would never have to see her again, if he didn’t want to. His mother had promised him that, like the thought would make him feel better, when he told her he didn’t want to be latched.

He remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Mother had told him a few months ago that she had chosen a mate at last, that the ceremony would take place on his thirteenth name date, and that there was to be no argument. But she only said that last part because she knew there would definitely be an argument. They’d passive-aggressively fought over it for days, after that. His mother kept trying to make him feel better about it, promising he’d never have to interact with her if he didn’t like her. That he would always have his whores and not to worry.

When Mon-El told her he refused to have a child, that he didn’t want to be a father, she had told him it didn’t matter. That matters such as children shouldn’t bother him, because he’d never have to see it if he didn’t want to. He presumed she meant his only interaction with the child would be to beat it. So basically she wanted him to become his own father. Mon-El felt himself slipping in that direction more and more every day, but it was a terrifying thought. He hated the idea of himself becoming that way, though he didn’t know why.

And so Mon-El had put up a valiant fight, but finally, Rhea had grown tired of it. Mid-argument one day she left the room and returned with her trump card. Lon. He still remembered the fear in the poor boy’s eyes as she marched him out in front of him, asking if he would like to press the matter any further. Of course the answer had been no. This was how she won every argument now, ever since she discovered how much he cared for the slave boy. His beatings had stopped that one day, not long before his seventh birthday after being caught in the kitchen, and Lon’s had begun in his place.

Mother had made him his personal attendant, but forbade the two from speaking. This was all some cruel effort to help Mon-El understand the place of a slave. He’d never forgive her for it, but he now understood the lesson well and truly good. It only took witnessing his friend being beaten within an inch of his life to burn the message deep into him: _stop resisting._

And from then on, it was only screw-ups and lapses of judgement that resulted in punishments. Mon-El had done everything he could to be what they wanted so they would stop, so they’d just _stop_ , and for the most part, he did a good job. Lon had already paid too dearly for his mistakes. He’d stopped talking all together, not long after they’d been caught whispering sometime in their ninth year. Mon-El feared Rhea had cut out his tongue, but he didn’t know for sure. All he knew was that Lon wasn’t the same, and it was his fault.

Since then, Mon-El had treated Lon as Rhea wanted him to be treated, to prevent him from being harmed. It hurt so much, every day, that eventually Mon-El felt himself hardening inside, changing. His brain was being re-wired, he could feel it, and he just stopped actively resisting it. It felt wrong, it left him feeling dirty, but he let the rewiring happen and slowly, eventually, he started becoming a real Daxamite.

He had always worried that he had been some sort of mistake, like maybe he accidentally came out of the Kryptonian Matrix and not the Daxamite, but no… maybe it just took time. Maybe he wasn’t an emotional freak, maybe lots of people started out soft like he did, and they were shaped purposefully into Daxamites through years of cruelty and greed. Maybe people just didn’t talk about it. Maybe there was a whole planet of people out there wanting to be better but not able to because of custom and culture.

It made him feel better, to think he wasn’t a total aberration, but it didn’t make a difference, in the end. And he didn’t really believe it, either. The kids around him were awful little shits that got off on being cruel to those weaker than them, all the way back to when he could first remember them. He didn’t think they had to be taught to act that way. They just _did_. Like proper Daxamites. He had hated them back then, avoided them like the plague. Ran off with Lon, hoping not to get caught. He still hated them. Only now, they were his best friends. His drinking buddies.

That was the only thing that kept him going these days, the ale. The drugs. But mostly the ale. He’d started drinking a few years prior at his mother’s urging. She kept telling him if he just learned to let loose he’d have fun and see what he had been missing. He finally agreed sometime around 10, and had found it such a good way to numb his pain and the only way for him to tolerate the people around him. At first it was depressing, but eventually he supposed he’d begun to fall into the lifestyle and occasionally, he felt himself actually having fun.

He especially liked girls. That was one good thing about being prince, he had his pick. But he didn’t like the easy ones. He preferred the chase. He’d lain with his first girl the previous year, and it had been revolutionary. An illumination. Life changing. Why hadn’t he done that earlier? He’d liked it so much he’d had her back to his chambers three nights in a row. That’s when he had been summoned for a visit to his father.

His mother had noticed the same girl leave on three consecutive days and had sent Mon-El to his father for “education”. Apparently, Mon-El shouldn’t be favouring one girl so much. He would be seen as sentimental, and it was beneath him. He was a prince, he should act like it. The only good thing was they hadn’t had to bring Lon out to prove their point, thankfully, because Mon-El had apologized and placated them. That night he found two girls in his bed when he retired to his chambers. He hadn’t complained, but it hadn’t exactly felt sporting. Since then he’d made sure to keep a healthy “social” life, all on his own, so they wouldn’t resort to sending him anyone ever again.

Mon-El’s mind wandered as he made his way back to his chambers, oddly ill-tempered and contemplative. He didn’t know what it was, probably the forced ceremony for a practice he’d prefer not to participate in. Yeah, that was it. Mon-El just wished he could bow out, say no thanks. He didn’t want to become his father and he certainly didn’t want a _child._ He didn’t want to be responsible for any new life being brought into this shitty and shallow world. He didn’t want to hit his child. He didn’t want to think about it. He needed a drink.

The ceremony had lasted hours, and it had redefined tedium. Gift after gift, pledge of fealty after pledge of fealty. Mon-El was worried he was going to fall asleep more than once. And what was he supposed to do with all these gems and platinum? At least some of the noblemen had been smart enough to give him gifts of drink. His mind wandered to the red flower that promised a week of Euphoria. That actually sounded pretty good right now, did he have anything he needed to do this week?

When he finally made it through the doors to his chambers, he breathed a big sigh of relief. He was alone at last, and completely exhausted. He headed straight to the bar in the corner to pour himself a drink. One half-glass of Zakarrian ale later and he was feeling much better about the world. He downed it all in one gulp and poured himself another, smaller glass to sip. He stirred it pensively in his hand before heading towards the seat by the window. It was his favourite place to sit when he was feeling morose.

He sat perched on the edge of the seat and looked out the window at the sunset. He could see the palace gardens below, and the shadows of buildings in the distance. But he wasn’t really seeing any of it. He was thinking. Thinking of things he shouldn’t have been worrying about at 13, but his latching had forced him to confront. He couldn’t put off the thoughts for another time, as he’d been doing these past many years. The time was upon him, his days were numbered. He was being forced to latch, and after that one day he would be forced to reproduce.

The thought sent shivers down his spine. One day, when his Father died, Mon-El would become Mon-Gand, ruler of Daxam. And on that day, they would create his heir. His son. And he’d be expected to teach him the Daxamite way. He wondered if, by the time that happened, he himself would be fully transformed. If he would truly be an echo of his father. If his mother got her way, he would be. And truthfully he did slowly, surely, feel himself slipping away.

He sighed and leaned back against the cushioned back of the chair. He sat there a moment before he noticed a little hard lump, something behind the cushion pressing into his back, just barely noticeable. Curious, Mon-El twisted around and lifted the cushion to reveal a little package, wrapped in used paper and tied with a string. There was a little note tucked into the string. Mon-El felt his heart speed up as he carefully took the little note and opened it up. The writing was messy, like it had been scrawled quickly, or by someone very uneducated. “For your 13th birthday.” It said, very simply. It didn’t say who it was from, but Mon-El knew instantly. _Lon._

He quickly untied the string and unwrapped the gift and then sat there, holding it in his hand, looking at it. He felt his heart swell with joy and break with sadness at the same time. He didn’t know that was possible, that this feeling existed. Why had Lon done this? Why didn’t he hate him for all that his parents had done to him over the years? Why didn’t he hate Mon-El for bringing this upon him? He felt his eyes start to burn but this time, he let the tears fall as he gazed upon the little sapphire soldier. Lon must have carved it, somehow, from a sapphire stone. They were scattered about the gardens, a common stone on Daxam, but polished up they were beautiful, and were a favourite of Mon-El’s because they were his favourite colour, blue. The soldier stood maybe 2-3 inches tall, and he had a helmet like the Royal Guard wore.

Mon-El smiled and sniffed, wiping away a tear as he remembered back to all those times he and Lon had played soldiers together. It was Mon-El’s favourite game. He’d almost forgotten, it was so long ago. He and Lon had been sneaking off for almost a year before he finally got caught, playing pretend games in empty rooms or hiding in their kitchen spot under the pantry counter. After that, he’d been watched like a hawk but still thought he could outsmart his Mother. He’d been stupid and gotten caught twice more and that was the end of it.

If he could go back, he’d never have talked to the kitchen boy, loneliness be damned. He would never have put him in such danger. But he couldn’t go back, and he did put him in danger, even if he never could have imagined that outcome at the time. And yet somehow, Lon didn’t hate him. For some reason, he had risked his life to steal a sapphire stone, and he’d taken the time to painstakingly carve a perfect miniature figure, and then to sneak it into his chambers… Mon-El clutched the figure in his hand. It felt solid and cool, and he felt himself become more grounded. Of all the riches he had been presented with today, of all the precious gems and wonders he had received, this small little soldier carved in a common stone was by far his favourite.

The hardest thing for Mon-El was accepting that someone loved him, or at least cared about him, at all. Truly, it was impossible for him to grasp. He felt so undeserving of such a gift, and yet so, so grateful that he had someone that cared about him to give it to him. Cared about the _real_ him. Not the Gand-in-training his parents were creating. The person he was, not the monster he was becoming. He _had_ to protect Lon. If anyone ever found out about this gift…

Without hesitating, Mon-El stood, wobbling a little as he did. It didn’t take much Zakkarian ale to have that effect on him. He had a long time to go before he could drink on his Father’s level. Ignoring the way the room swam, Mon-El pocketed the sapphire soldier and took all the evidence, the wrapping, the string, the note to the hearth in his room. He stoked the fire that the servants kept going at all times during this time of year, and threw the material into the flames. Not until he was sure it had all burnt, that there was no evidence remaining, did he relax at all.

For the next few minutes, he sat by the hearth, staring into the flames, absentmindedly running his thumb over his pocket, feeling the soldier inside. He found it oddly calming and comforting, and soon he felt himself getting tired again. Within a few more minutes, he was nodding off, so he tucked his legs up under himself on the big, soft chair, unwilling to get up even to move to Bed. He leaned his head against the rest and soon his latching day was over and he was dreaming, a strange dream full of flowers and soldiers and faceless girls.

 

 

 

“Babe?” Kara’s voice echoed, barely heard. “Mon-El?” She asked again, and Mon-El shook his head, snapping back to the present.

“Huh?” He asked. “Sorry, do you need anything? Can I bring you anything?” He asked, dazed, and Kara smiled and shook her head softly.

“No, I’m fine. You were staring into space.” She replied, “And you’ve been rubbing that soldier so much I’m surprised it isn’t worn down to nothing.” She added, leaning over from her side of the couch to lay a kiss on his temple and cuddle into him. He wrapped his arm around her without thinking, his mind still catching up from the memories of long ago that kept resurfacing and consuming him, unbidden. He held up the little blue soldier and looked at it. It didn’t look the same as it had, that day on his thirteenth birthday. He’d kept it in his pocket ever since then, had it on the day he escaped Daxam, and he touched it for luck, or when he worried. So Kara was right, it was all but worn down to nothing. Especially now that he had super strength. He really should be more careful with it, honestly.

“Oh…” He answered, dumbly, and Kara looked up at him.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, seriously. “Ever since we got the news, you’ve been… acting strange.” She said, and he looked at her. “Are you okay with… everything? That it’s not—that we’re not—Because if you’re sad it’s ok, I am too.“ Her voice was laced with concern, but it was misplaced.

“I’m sorry Kara.” He said, not answering her question but meaning it nonetheless. He hated to worry her for even a second, especially because she had been so down, ever since. But the truth was, he was a bit of a mess. But not for the reasons he would have expected a week ago. Leading up to that appointment, he had been the excited one, and Kara had been trepidatious and nervous about the whole thing. She had been worried but Mon-El had been so caught up in thinking that he and Kara might have created a perfect little combination of the two of them, that they had been connected in a way more intimate and powerful than he’d ever imagined, that he let himself forget about who he really was. Why he shouldn’t have children. He was stupid to ever have been so excited.

In the beginning, Kara had had many reservations and Mon-El had been blindly optimistic and excited, but in the wake of the negative test results, their roles seemed to have shifted. Despite going into that appointment hoping she wasn’t pregnant, she had been unexpectedly saddened ever since, mourning the loss like it was a real child, and Mon-El had done everything he could to be there for her. The problem was, she expected him to be really sad, too, based on how excited he had been before they had been told the truth. Except, he wasn’t sad. In fact, he was downright relieved. But he couldn’t let her know that… could he?

Suddenly, he felt guilt stir inside him like a volcano ready to erupt as the realization came that he was lying to Kara about his feelings. Here he was, feeling ultimate relief while Kara was feeling the sting of the loss, and _she thought he felt the same_. He thought he had been sparing her, but all that really equated to was _lying_ to her. And that couldn’t stand. And how did she not sense it? They had been so _connected_ , ever since the incident last month. But… maybe she did? And she was waiting for him to say something? The thought made him feel awful, that he would have added to Kara’s stress.

“Sorry for what?” She asked, curiously, and Mon-El shifted a little, encouraging her to sit up so that he could look at her. She did, but when she got settled and he saw those big blue comets, sad and transparent, piercing into his soul, all the wind was knocked out of him. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, and then sighing.

“I don’t deserve you.” He said, sadly, to which Kara scrunched up her nose like he had said something distasteful.

“Don’t talk like that.” She said, her eyebrows still knit in concern.

“I’m sorry.” He replied, groaning, tugging at the hair at his temple.

“Stop saying you’re sorry! You have nothing to be sorry for!” She said, pushing his shoulder back, trying to shake him out of it.

“Ok, I’m—“ And he was about to say sorry again when he closed his mouth. “But I think I do have something to be sorry for.” He changed course, focusing on the second thing she’d said.

“Why? Did you break the toilet handle again?” She asked, and Mon-El smiled and chuckled.

“No.” He replied. “Maybe.” He added, pouting, and she smiled, her eyes shining and Mon-El’s heart ached.

“Because I was thinking, maybe instead of Bartender, it may be more economical if you become a plumber, instead.” She added, and Mon-El laughed, wobbling his head like she had a point.

“That’s fair.” He said with a laugh that tapered off into silence, and Kara’s eyes had turned from happy to concerned once again.

“So are you not going to tell me?” She asked, and Mon-El swallowed. No, he’d never keep anything from her that she wanted to know. He just hoped she didn’t judge him too harshly. She knew a lot about his past, but not all of it. He’d kept the worst from her, under the delusion that it shouldn’t matter, that there was no reason to trouble her with it. Knowing that with her love for him, the stories would cause her pain. But that wasn’t the whole of it. He had also kept it from her because he didn’t want her to know what a monster he really was, down in his core. He denied it, he tried to be better, but at his very base, he would always possess shadows of what had been done to him. He knew it.

“What would you say if I told you I wasn’t sad?” He asked, suddenly. The time to get this off his chest was now. It had been just over a week since the fight in the streets of National City, and it had been gnawing at him ever since. He chewed the inside of his cheek and waited anxiously for her to respond.

“What do you mean?” She asked, looking confused.

“About the test being negative. If I wasn’t sad, would you be upset?” He asked, anxiously, and Kara looked at him like he was crazy.

“Are you asking if I’d be _mad_ because you _aren’t_ sad?” She asked, seemingly genuine in her confusion. “Why would I ever want you to be sad?”

“Because that’s what I’m supposed to be, right? You’re sad, I’m supposed to be sad too.” He answered, and Kara threw her head back and groaned, instantly confusing Mon-El.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been sad, but I don’t even know _why_. It’s not like I ever wanted to have a baby, it’s not like we’d planned this. I’m just… emotional, I guess. But I don’t blame you at all for not wanting a baby, we’ve only been together a few months, and I know you didn’t get a choice in the whole… _incident…_ ” She said, and Mon-El leaned forward and placed his hand on her thigh, instantly wanting to correct her. She thought that was the problem? That he wasn’t sure enough about her to want to commit in that way?

“It isn’t any of that. I’m happy about the, you know, the _incident._ I’m happy it happened. I’m not happy about half the DEO seeing us—you—like that, but--”

“I don’t think Dana was complaining.” Kara interjected, laughing, poking him in the chest and Mon-El groaned. They’d both decided that they wouldn’t let it haunt them, the things they’d done during that strange, strange time. They’d gotten to a place where they could laugh about it, but Mon-El still got embarrassed when he let himself think about it too much.

“Don’t remind me. Now every time I see her it’s like, my eyes are up _here_ , Dana!” He laughed, playfully pushing Kara away, and he delighted in her amused giggle. “But anyways, my point is that I don’t regret a single thing because it really just proved me right, about us being made for each other.”

“Hashtag soulmates!” Kara added, and that was it, she was too cute he had to lean forward to capture her mouth in a quick kiss. Sometimes she just caught him off guard and it was like he was falling, like his stomach was doing back flips.

“Literally.” He replied. “So you’re not mad?” He asked, not ready to accept the relief yet until she confirmed.

“Of course not, you goofus!” She replied, before standing up. “Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s late.”

“Don’t you want to watch the end of the show?” He asked.

“It’s Game of Thrones, they probably all die. We’ll finish it tomorrow. Come onnnnn, Mon-El! I want cuddles!” She whined, shaking her hands impatiently and Mon-El laughed. She’d been doing that a lot lately, since the incident in April. Changing her mind, acting impulsively, bossing him around in a cute way, like an angry puppy. It was adorable.

“Okay! Okay!” He laughed, putting his hands up to show he was innocent. “I just have to water the power flower first.”

“Doesn’t it have to be more than just a pot full of dirt before you can call it a flower?” She asked, teasing, but Mon-El pouted.

“Don’t say that where she can hear you!” He warned. “She’s a very sensitive flower-in-training. I’ve been reading up on keeping houseplants, and a lot of people say you should talk to them, so I’ve been encouraging her to grow every day. In fact, I think today might be the day—“ He hurried over to the window to check on the little yellow flower pot. “YES!!!!” He called out in triumph as he saw the little green sprout sticking out of the brown soil. He quickly poured some water over it, darkening the soil as it drank up the moisture. “Grow, my little sprout, be the most beautiful flower for my most beautiful girlfriend.” He whispered above the pot, but Kara heard.

“Awwww, babe!” She gushed, and ran over to give him in a hug from behind. The day of the alien street fight, Mon-El hadn’t gotten any help from Winn in regards to Kara’s favourite flower so he’d decided to pick the ones that reminded him of her the most. They were these round, happy, yellow flowers with long stems, and he had thought of her instantly. Of her blonde hair, her inner light, they reminded him of the sun. So he’d bought a bundle of them from the vendor and brought them home and Kara had loved them.

_“Sun flowers!”_ He remembered her saying, smelling them and then holding them close before looking for a vase to put them in. They only had one that had survived the incident, and she placed them inside to admire. Mon-El had been shocked at the name of the flower. A _sun_ flower? Could anything have been more perfect for Kara? The sun gave her her powers, and at the same time, Kara was _his_ sun. His world revolved around her, she gave him light and life. He wanted her to keep them forever. “ _It’s such a pity they die so soon_.” She had said the next day, as they’d woken up to petals fallen on the table. That day, Mon-El had bought a pot, some potting soil, and a packet of sunflower seeds. He was determined to give Kara a flower that wouldn’t die, and he was going to give the little sprout everything it needed to grow and thrive and be the most beautiful flower, worthy of the goddess that allowed Mon-El to follow her around and call her _girlfriend._

As Kara lay over him, there was a buzz of a fly and Mon-El hovered protectively over his baby plant. “There must be somewhere they’re getting in.” He said, narrowing his eyes and looking for it. These flies were so sneaky, like little fly ninjas, dead set upon killing his flower, he just knew it. And now that the sprout had sprung, he was on a mission.

“Tomorrow, we deal with the fly.” Kara promised. “Right now, just come to bed with me.” She whined again, tugging his arm, and how could he say no to that? He brushed his teeth probably a little too quickly to return to her side. Seriously, sometimes even just a few minutes parted felt like too long these days. He returned to the bedroom as quickly as he could, and Kara was waiting for him, looking comfy in bed. She held out her arms for him as she saw him enter, a big dopey smile on her face, and Mon-El felt his knees go weak.

“I missed you.” She said, oddly sentimental, and Mon-El smiled, settling into her open arms, kissing her neck as he curled himself into her. “You’re sure you’re okay?” She asked, and Mon-El suddenly remembered, he hadn’t finished his point on the couch earlier. Kara had interrupted him. He hadn’t gotten everything off his chest. For a few glorious minutes he’d been wrapped up in the euphoric effect Kara seemed to have over him, and he’d forgotten about the sucking weight of his anxiety.

“Kara, I didn’t finish earlier.” He whispered into her neck, before pulling back a little so he could look into her eyes.

“Finish what? I’m pretty sure you finished… twice.” She said, adding the last word with a waggle of her eyebrows and Mon-El blushed and laughed.

“That’s not what I mean.” He said, and she smiled.

“Ok, tell me. You can tell me anything, nothing would change how I feel about you. You know that, right?” She asked, more seriously, sensing his anxiety. Mon-El felt his heart swell to hear the words. Even if he didn’t feel worthy of her love, he still craved it like oxygen, he couldn’t help himself.

“The reason I’m relieved, it has nothing to do with it being too soon, or me not being sure about us. Kara… _I’m sure._ I’m sure about everything. For the rest of my life, you are the one thing I’m going to be sure about.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” She interrupted, laughing.

“No, well yes, of course I am, but not now. I haven’t gotten the parade permits yet.” He answered. “Stop interrupting me!” He laughed, “This is serious.” He added, his face falling.

“ _This is sewious.”_ She parroted back to him, repeating his words with a silly voice and serious look on her face. She cleared it, though, and looked apologetic when she realized something was really bothering him. “I’m sorry, babe—what is it?”

“I want you to know why I’m relieved. And by the way I won’t be fully relieved until we find out what’s causing the fever. But I’m just trusting you when you say you’re feeling alright. And Eliza, when she tells me not to worry. You are feeling alright, aren’t you?” He added, searching Kara’s face for evidence that she was sick. But no, she looked healthy and gorgeous to him. She practically glowed.

“I’m fine, I think.” She answered. “Stop worrying about me, I’m Supergirl, I’ll be ok.” She answered, and Mon-El smirked. He loved her confidence, he wish he possessed even half of it. “Tell me what you want to say.” She added, and Mon-El nodded.

“I’ve been wanting to find a way to tell you, but you seemed so disappointed, and I thought you expected me to be, as well. I was, at first. But then I thought about… I thought about what a terrible father I’d be. And I’m just so happy I won’t have a baby, _your baby_ , to screw up completely.” He said the words fast, like they fell out of his heart and onto the bed before her. Kara’s eyes were wide, and Mon-El braced himself for what was next. She’d be disappointed in him, maybe even angry. But instead her eyes softened immediately and she reached forward with a hand to hold his arm.

“You… you think you’d be a terrible father?” She added, like she was incredulous. Like she didn’t believe him. But she didn’t know the whole of it.

“Kara, you don’t know everything about my past. I haven’t told you everything. I do my best to hide it, but I’m an _extremely_ screwed up person. I have _no_ idea what a parent does, except for what my parents did. And from what I’ve seen from media on Earth, that is _not_ what is supposed to happen. Things were… they were bad, Kara. I’m afraid that I’d—I wouldn’t know what to do—“ He felt tears forming in his eyes as he talked, and they finally broke the barrier and spilled down his cheeks as he paused. Kara instantly reached out to wipe them away gently with her thumb before inching towards him, fitting herself against his body so he could wrap his arms around her and squeeze.

He felt himself calm just a little as he did, their connection being so intimate and powerful now, like she was a sponge and pulled some of his anxiety out of him, absorbed it into herself. Mon-El didn’t want that, but it was so, _so_ comforting, he allowed it to happen. He supposed that was a part of a true partnership, not always trying to protect the other to the point where there were walls between you. Sometimes, you just have to trust that they can take it, and he would do the same for her. Had been doing the same, absorbing her sadness these past weeks, doing his best to support her in every way he could.

“Years of practice.” She whispered, and frowned. “Do you want to tell me about it?” She asked, sincerely, and Mon-El found that he did. He _did_ want to talk about it. He had never talked about it with another soul in his entire life and it had been building up inside him, ever since he was a child, and he felt the stories explode from him unrestrained. For what felt like ages they lay there, in each other’s arms, and Mon-El told her everything. Everything he had been too ashamed to tell her about. How his parents had beaten him, manipulated him, how he had ruined Lon’s life, how he had allowed them to change him, his shame in his lack of resistance. And the whole time, Kara just listened, and occasionally she would silently weep, but still she listened, gently stroking his hair or his arm, and he felt himself lighten as the burden was lifted finally.

When he was done, he felt like a different person. Finally, it was off his chest. Finally, there were no more walls between them. Finally, Kara understood why Mon-El should never, _ever_ be a father. For a little while they just lay there, but then, finally, she spoke. “My poor, poor baby.” She sniffed, wiping her cheek. He’d expected a similar response. It wasn’t an easy story to tell, and for someone that (inexplicably) loved him, it wouldn’t have been an easy story to hear.

“But you understand, now, why I can’t ever—I can’t ever be given another life that I could mess up the way my parents messed me up.” He asked, wanting to make sure she understood. Maybe it would even help her own sadness, maybe she’d be grateful now that they weren’t pregnant, like he was. He hoped he could help, even if it was by sharing the most broken part of his soul with her.

“I—“ She started, pausing. “I hear everything you’re saying. And I don’t want to diminish it…” She continued. “But that’s bullshit.” She finished, and Mon-El’s eyes went wide. He was _not_ expecting that.

“Uhhh…” He responded, and watched as her face transformed from sad to animated. She actually leaned up a little on her elbow, she was so passionate.

“I’m not saying it would be easy, but you don’t see in yourself what I see.” She answered. “You don’t see the guy that would move mountains to keep me safe, to make me happy. The guy that wanted to give me a flower that wouldn’t die so he bought a pot and planted a seed and now he _talks to the seed,_ I swear to Rao I have never met anyone more selfless than you are in your love for me. Do you not think you’d do the same for a little baby? _Our_ little baby?” She asked, and Mon-El lay there, frozen, his mouth gaping open, not knowing how to respond. She really saw all that in him?

“I—I don’t—“ He stammered, and she smiled sympathetically.

“I think you’d be the best Dad in the world. Maybe even _because_ of all that awful stuff that happened.” She said, and Mon-El felt a spark of hope light in his chest that hadn’t been there before. Did she really mean it? “Plus you’ve watched every single episode of Full House, I think you’d do just fine.” She added, and he chuckled.

“Hey, Cut. It. Out.” He replied, snapping his index and middle finger before throwing back a thumbs up, and she laughed.

“See? You’re going to be the best dad ever.” She replied, and Mon-El scrunched his eyebrows.

“You’re acting like I’m going to be. You’re not—“

“No!” She replied, laughing, but then her face turned serious. “No, I’m not. It’s just… I don’t think, after what happened before, that we’re going to get a choice in the matter.” She responded. “I think, with the fever… my gut is just telling me it isn’t over.” She added, and Mon-El swallowed.

“You think it’s going to happen again?” He asked, his mind going back to those insane, shiny memories of their altered state during those intense few days. All the research they had done had shown the whole point had been to create a child, and with their failure, and the ongoing strangeness between the two, and Kara’s fever… maybe she was right.

“I mean, I think it’s a possibility we should prepare for.” She said, her tone careful and measured.

“We need to find a padded room and lock ourselves in, if that happens again. Like werewolves before the full moon.” He said, and she laughed.

“You don’t think the DEO was a good location to be in?” She asked sarcastically.

“Terrible! I gave them a one star Yelp review. The accommodations were terrible, _zero_ privacy, and I ordered room service and it never came!” He replied, and she laughed, but again her face turned serious.

“But you know, if this happens again, then that means that there’s a real chance that…”

“…Yeah.” He said, nodding his head, the reality setting in. There was a real chance he’d become a father, whether he wanted to or not. Because not being successful during the incident would kill them. Kill Kara. And he’d never be that selfish. He’d definitely risk screwing up a baby over killing her, as awful as it made him feel. He nodded his head more vigorously. “Yeah.” He repeated, firmly.

“You know, I think you’ve been really sweet with your plant, I think that’s a good sign. You’re already a good Dad, you just don’t know it.” She said, and he could hear her voice becoming sleepy. He smiled cuddling into her side.

“I’m not.” He said, softly. “But I’m going to be ready. I promise.” He added, and she murmured something into his chest as she drifted to sleep. He meant it, though. He was going to buy every book, watch every sappy movie, attend all the seminars he could. He had time, that was what mattered. Time to learn. Time to un-do everything that had been done to him, time to learn how to be the dad this baby deserved, whenever it decided to show up. She wasn’t pregnant now, at least. He was so relieved this cycle had missed, though. Because he needed that time. He’d never have enough of it, but for now, he felt his hopes rise a little, and that flame in his chest caught the wind and started to roar. He was going to be a _dad_ , one day. And suddenly, the thought only terrified him, it didn’t fill him with dread like it had been, and that was improvement. He drifted off to sleep in that moment, with that thought to comfort him.

 

 

The next morning, Mon-El seemed to have a new lease on life. Kara had helped him shed some of the weight of his past and he was feeling good. He’d gotten up early to make her favourite, blueberry pancakes and bacon. He had a small mountain of the fluffy cakes piled up by the time she followed her nose into the kitchen, practically floating towards the sweet smell.

“Bacon!!!” She called out, rushing over to the plate and stuffing a piece in her mouth. Mon-El smiled.

“Morning, sunshine.” He said, and she smiled widely with closed lips as she happily chewed her bacon.

“Mo-ning” She said, her mouth full, and Mon-El choked on his laugher as he rolled his eyes.

“You know the way to your heart is surprisingly easy.” He said, and she smiled, swallowing her mouthful.

“It starts with a ‘B’ and ends with an—“

“Acon?” He finished, and she brightened.

“And pancakes!” She added, and he smiled.

“You know, I’m starting to think you only like me for my delicious breakfast making skills.” He said, turning back to the stove to flip the cakes that were in the pan. The batter had begun to start bubbling. When he flipped them over to reveal the perfectly golden brown side, Kara clapped and he chuckled.

“Among other skills.” She agreed, and he laughed.

“Hey Kara, I was thinking today—“ He started, but he was interrupted suddenly.

“Shhh!!!” Kara hushed him harshly, putting her finger to her lips. “Do you hear that?” She asked, and Mon-El paused, not hearing anything. At his blank look, she whispered harshly, “The fly!”.

“Oh,” Mon-El acknowledged, narrowing his eyebrows, crouching a little like he was going into battle. “Why are we whispering?” He asked, whispering himself.

“So the fly can’t hear us.” She replied, scanning the room with her eyes.

“Can flies hear?” He asked, and she glared at him before laughing. Then her eyes lit up.

“There it is again, do you hear that? It’s a weird sounding fly, but that’s got to be it, right?” She asked, and Mon-El scrunched his face trying to listen, to use his super hearing to the best of his ability. And there it was. The strange buzz that had been heard occasionally in this apartment the past couple weeks. That fly was as good as dead.

“I hear it!” He said, and he ran over to his flower to make sure it was okay. It was, the little green sprout a tiny bit bigger than it had been even the night before. He smiled at it and blew it a kiss. “Daddy’s gonna kill that nasty fly.” He assured the flower, and the hunt was on.

For the next few minutes, Kara and Mon-El searched high and low. They’d occasionally pause to use their super hearing, find the buzz, and then they’d be off again. Kara gave up eventually, flopping on the couch, declaring the war won by the ninja fly, but Mon-El didn’t want to give up so easily. For a few minutes, he tracked the noise, and finally he thought he had it pinpointed. It was over by Kara. “Don’t move, babe, I think I’ve got it.” He said, as he verrrrrryyyy slowly moved towards her. No flies took to the air, so he thought he had it. And still the steady fluttery buzz continued.

Soon, he was within inches of the fly. Except he couldn’t find it. Where was it? He was right on top of the noise. Right on top of Kara, actually. He looked down at her in bewilderment, trying to figure out what was happening. The noise was _right there._ How could he be missing it? And that’s when it hit him. The noise was coming from _her._ He tried to understand what that meant for a few seconds, before it finally came to him. _The noise was coming from her. From inside of her._

And suddenly, Mon-El sank to his knees in front of Kara. His face must have been a picture of wonder, as the understanding of the moment washed over him. He felt his eyes prick and then tears were falling instantly, but they weren’t tears of sorrow. Somehow, surprisingly, they were tears of joy. Despite everything, despite all his fears, this was the happiest he had ever felt, in his entire life.

Kara was looking at him like he had two heads, she didn’t know what was going on, but Mon-El didn’t have any words, he couldn’t speak to tell her. Instead, he bowed down and gently pressed his ear against her middle and gasped as the noise got louder. The little fluttering buzz filled his senses and the tempo burned into his memory.

It was… it was… _A heartbeat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... ahhhhhhh!!!! I hope it was worth the wait :) I'm sorry about the ride getting there!   
> If you made it to the end, I would LOVE to know what you thought! I've been waiting so long for feedback, I'm hoping the trip down memory lane wasn't too painful! But the past is in the past now and in the future all I see is Karamel baby <3 Thanks for reading and for waiting so long for the update! I hope it was worth the wait :) The next chapter shouldn't take so long, and likely wont' be so crazy long lol ...but we'll see!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heartbeat! 
> 
> ...that's it for chapter summary. You're going to have to read from here to find out how Kara reacts and what happens next!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting and I'm sorry it took a week longer than I expected! I was so happy to give the last chapter a happier ending, I hope you guys liked it! From here we pick up with Kara, and find out how she reacts. 
> 
> Love as always to my girl Conty and also Julia for the amazing new cover aesthetic I'll be posting on tumblr at @kelbottumbles

 

Kara watched in confusion as Mon-El sank to his knees before her. She tried to decipher the tears that were suddenly falling freely from his eyes, to understand why he was now leaning down to press his ear against her belly. None of it was making any sense. Despite being a logical, perceptive, and intelligent person, the signs refused to align in her brain and she was left dumbfounded at Mon-El’s shift in behaviour.

“What is it?” She asked, her face twisted in a skeptical expression, though it softened the second Mon-El’s soulful, teary eyes looked up at her. They were full of wonder, and love, and fear, and devotion and they captivated Kara, momentarily distracting her. His gaze told her so much about what he was feeling, but not about what was causing those feelings. “What’s the matter?” She repeated, insistent now.

He looked her in the eyes, making sure she saw him before he continued. “Kara, it’s coming from inside the house...” He started, pausing to lean down and place his ear against her middle again, and Kara’s eyebrow’s narrowed. Inside the house? What? Then suddenly he sprung up to face her, “The call—it’s coming from inside the house!” He finished, his face lighting up with the most blinding smile. It was so infectious Kara wanted to smile along with him, but she still had no idea what he meant.

“The call is coming from inside the house?” She repeated back to him in question form, holding out her hands and placing them on his biceps to calm him. He was practically bouncing. What in the name of Rao did he—

And then it hit her. The fly. It wasn’t a fly. The noise, the fluttering buzz that had been following her for weeks. It was… _The call was coming from inside the house._ And suddenly her expression slackened, her jaw fell, her eyes widened, and if she hadn’t already been on the couch she would have very possibly collapsed. It couldn’t be, she couldn’t be!

For several long moments, Kara sat there, frozen, before realizing that she hadn’t said anything in response. She didn’t seem capable _of_ saying anything, actually. Her mouth just kept opening and closing like a fish as she tried to force out some sort of answer. Eventually, the initial wave of shock cleared enough for her to stop staring off into space and allow her to look back at Mon-El, whose tearful and joyful eyes now seemed apprehensive, possibly due to Kara’s lack of a response. She needed to try to say something. Form a word, any word. But all she seemed capable of was a single vowel, stretched out as she tried to add more words that wouldn’t come. “IIIIIIiiiiiiii…” She started, willing her brain to start moving, when all it wanted to do was fixate on the shock and confusion she felt. How was this possible? Eliza had said she wasn’t!

“If you’re worried about me, don’t be.” Mon-El finally said, shaking his head, seeing the trouble Kara was having and needing to fill the silence. His expression was earnest as he continued. “I know I just… told you all that stuff, last night. I know I told you I needed time. And I did. But then—But then I heard that, that miraculous little heartbeat, and—I don’t need time, Kara. I’m ready. If you’re worried about me, you don’t have to. I’m here, I’m rock solid.” His voice was thick with emotion as he stared into her eyes, willing her to understand him, and she felt it, she knew what he was saying was true. And she felt suddenly the joy rising in her heart, warring with the shock for control of her.

For another painful few moments, she sat there, eyes wide with shock, staring at Mon-El and feeling like time had stopped completely. And then finally, it was like she could breathe again, time was restored and the shock gave way to emotion. She gasped, and then she felt her own eyes prick and fill with tears, and her face pulled into a tearful smile as she fought the sob that rose in her chest. At the return of emotion in Kara, Mon-El sighed in relief as well, his smile widening.

“It’s a heartbeat.” She finally whispered, an incredulous smile splitting her face as salty tears fell to her lips. Her hands instinctively went low to her belly, and she _felt_ for the heartbeat… and there it was. Mon-El was right. _It was miraculous._ “But how?” She asked, looking up at her awestruck boyfriend.

“Who knows?” He answered, leaning down and pressing his ear to her belly again. Kara’s fingers instantly went to his hair, running them through it, massaging his scalp. He hummed contentedly before continuing. “Maybe it was Rao? But it doesn’t matter, really. All that matters is you, and that little heartbeat. That’s my life now.” He spoke softly, and paused to listen and then sighed again in contentment, his eyes closing and his lips closed as he smiled widely. “Just… beautiful.” He added, and Kara felt her own heart flutter as he whispered the words against her.

They were both silent after that for a few minutes, Mon-El listening to the fluttering beat of their baby’s heart and Kara feeling the reverberation of it as she stroked Mon-El’s head as he bowed before her. _Their baby._ There was a baby, _inside her_. She could still barely believe it. The thought was wild and outrageous but also felt suddenly so, so _right_. Because it was hers and Mon-El’s. Of course it was right. Everything was right when it came to them together. She just kept thinking that she was possibly the first Kryptonian in thousands of years to carry a child naturally. What would her mother have thought? Ultimately it didn’t matter, she was on Earth now, things were different. But Kara knew in her heart her mother would have loved this baby and supported Kara through anything.

“Wow… a _baby_ …” Kara said suddenly, finishing her last thought aloud, and Mon-El lifted his head to look at her. He had stopped crying, but his eyes were still red from the salt, though that didn’t diminish from the happiness she saw there.

“A real life baby.” He repeated, smiling. “Our baby.” He added, and Kara felt a pang of something in her heart. Joy? Triumph? It was intense, and consuming, and she suddenly realized she would die for that little heartbeat. She’d die before she ever let anything happen to it. Or Mon-El. Both of them. She felt it fiercely, in her heart. Life was about to become a whole lot more interesting.

“Mon-El…” She said, her eyes shining as she wiggled so she could sit up straight. She’d been leaning back against the pillows so Mon-El could drape himself over her and listen to the heartbeat. When she was sitting up straight she leaned forward, grabbing him by the neck of his soft grey sleeping t-shirt and pulling him forward for a kiss before releasing him. He didn’t want to stop, but she broke the kiss by smiling and opening her eyes, looking at him. He pouted briefly as their lips parted and reluctantly pulled away, but there was no disappointment on his face, only love.

“What?” he asked, softly, and Kara’s eyes lit up, widening.

“We’re going to be _parents_.” She whispered, her eyes wide with fear and excitement. She had written off the idea, that day in the lab with Eliza, when she’d broken the news they weren’t pregnant. She had mourned the baby ever since, but she hadn’t dared hope. She would never question Eliza’s judgement, and she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Even when the fever had continued with no explanation, even when Kara had cleared out National City’s entire supply of caramel ice cream. She didn’t dare hope. But now…

“I’ve never been happier for Eliza to be wrong about something.” Mon-El said suddenly, using his new uncanny ability to read her mind. She’d just been thinking the exact same thing.

“I didn’t think it was possible.” Kara replied, and Mon-El laughed, placing a hand below her belly button. Kara thought she noticed a subtle change in the rhythm as he did, like it sped up, but she didn’t know if she was imagining it.

“It seems like it was.” He said, smiling with wonder while looking down at his hand and then back up at her eyes. But then suddenly his joyful gaze turned worried. “Kara, I don’t think I can plan a big enough parade for this.” He said, and Kara laughed despite knowing he meant every word of it, maybe she laughed _because_ she knew he meant it. He was so sweet. And so terrible with a secret. Which she was going to have to ask of him now.

“No parades yet.” She said, sweetly but seriously. When Mon-El still seemed distracted by the heartbeat, she grabbed his face by the cheeks and turned it towards her. He looked adorable with his lips all squished out, and Kara wanted to kiss them, but she had to make sure he knew. “No one can know yet.”

“But—“

“But no.”

“But!”

She laughed and playfully shoved him before pulling him back into her arms. He let himself be enveloped by her, wiggling into her side and sighing as he did. “Okay, fine. But why?”

“I just want some answers first. It won’t be for long. But promise me you won’t say anything until I say so?” She asked, turning a bit so she could see his eyes as he looked up at her and finally nodded.

“Okay, but I’m a terrible liar.” He added, and she laughed again because he didn’t have to tell her that. She knew. He had lasted about 30 seconds before he was bursting to tell everyone the news of their relationship. That had been cute. But this was more important, and Kara really wanted to know that everything was okay, first. She didn’t want to lose the baby all over again, and then to have to tell everyone that had their hopes up.

“Don’t think of it as lying. Just think of it as leaving out some of the truth.” At this she got a skeptical look from Mon-El, but he chuckled after before replacing his head against her chest and his hand on her belly.

“Whatever you say.” He replied, and Kara felt calmed because she knew he’d try. Just until they knew for sure. Despite every instinct in her body telling her _she was sure_ , she still wanted Eliza to confirm. And she wanted to figure out how to tell Alex. Things were still a little strained with them, since the incident at the DEO. Alex was wracked with guilt and being distant, Kara just didn’t want her finding out in the wrong way…

But her thoughts were interrupted by the screeching of the fire alarm. Mon-El bolted to his feet and shouted “Grife!” as he ran towards the kitchen. There was a small fire on the griddle, where there used to be a pancake. How had they not smelled that? The alarm seemed to break the spell that had fallen over them, and they both sprang to action. Mon-El running towards the source of the smoke, Kara running towards her phone.

A moment later, the griddle plate was in the sink, the flames extinguished, and Mon-El stood on the counter trying to reach the alarm on the tall ceiling, grumbling a little about how much easier it would be if he could fly. The alarm stopped right as the phone started ringing, and Kara stood there, bouncing impatiently, willing the line to pick up on the other end. Mon-El came to join her, wrapping a calming arm around her and pulling her to his side, and then finally, there was a voice on the other end and Kara sighed in relief, leaning against Mon-El.

“Hey Mom!” She said, brightly. “Hey, how quickly could you meet me at the DEO?” She followed up, not waiting for a response. She had so many questions. And there was only one person in the world she thought might be able to answer them. “Are you against me picking you up?”

 

 

 

 

 

              Alex was in the middle of hand-to-hand weapons combat training when a sergeant entered the room and interrupted. He stood there, at attention, waiting to be addressed. Alex looked at him questioningly. “Go ahead, Sergeant.” She instructed, impatiently, rolling her knife-hand in the air before her.

“Agent Danvers, I’m sorry to interrupt.” He started, and Alex waved it off. “But I thought you may want to know, Supergirl just arrived, and she was carrying Dr. Danvers in her arms.” Alex’s brain lit up at the words and all of her senses narrowed, focused on the man before her. Kara was carrying Mom? _Was she alright?_

“Is she alright?” She asked, her question a demand, and the Sergeant looked hesitant.

“Who?” He asked, and Alex rolled her eyes.

“Either. Both. Are they alright?” She insisted, and the Sergeant bowed his head slightly.

“Dr. Danvers seems fine, but Supergirl was wearing duckie pajamas.” He answered, and Alex’s brows narrowed at the information. Then she nodded before turning to her training partner. “Good job today, keep working on your stance. You want to always be on the balls of your feet, ready to move in any direction. Remember, even when you win a knife fight, you lose, because no one’s getting out uncut. You want to be light, always be ready, and end it quick. Keep working on your stance, I want you to shadow fight until the end of our session. Keep it up.” She addressed the young agent she had recently taken under her wing, that she had been training before being interrupted. But she couldn’t finish their session, she needed to find out what was going on, why Kara would show up in her pyjamas. Something was wrong.

On the way to the elevator, Alex had to control herself to stop from running. What could this be? All thought of avoiding Kara was gone from her mind with the idea that she or Mom could be sick, or hurt. She hammered the ‘up’ button, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she anxiously waited for the doors to open. “Come on, come on!” She said aloud, impatiently, and suddenly she had a flashback. Two months ago, she’d been doing this exact same thing, rushing to the elevator to get down to the holding cells. She needed to activate the red sun light, so that Mon-El wouldn’t break through into Kara’s cell.

All over again, the guilt threatened to consume her. At the time, she’d done what she thought was right, what she thought Kara would have wanted. She hadn’t been in control of herself, Alex had reasoned. Kara would never have acted that way if she’d been in her right mind, she needed help. But in reality, what she’d done was almost kill her only sister. And Mon-El, too, of course. _But Kara…_ she should have just let Mon-El shatter the glass. They could have turned off the monitors. Let them be, no matter how disturbing the thought had been. But she didn’t. And Kara almost died, and from what Alex heard, she’d been sick ever since. Running a fever, and even Mom couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

Alex felt like the worst sister in the world. No, she _was_ the worst sister in the world. She’d almost turned her back on Kara when she had justified suspicions about Jeremiah, and then not long after that she’d kidnapped, imprisoned, and almost killed her because an alien phenomenon had _made her uncomfortable_. And now Alex could barely look her in the eye, she felt so horrible. Kara kept trying to mend the gap between them, but Alex still couldn’t get over her part in everything.

Finally the doors to the elevator opened and she stepped in, quickly pressing the button for the top floor. The landing deck. She’d check there first, before the med bay. She didn’t want to assume the worst. As the elevator quickly ascended, Alex tried to figure out what she’d say. She’d already apologized, about a thousand times. Kara had assured her it was okay, that she understood, but that hadn’t stopped Kara and Mon-El from taking a few weeks ‘leave of absence’ from work after the incident. They’d even filed it with HR. Alex thought she’d never see her at work again, that despite Kara telling her she was forgiven, she’d never truly get over the way she’d been treated.

At this disturbing thought there was a chime in the elevator and it came to an abrupt stop. Finally, the doors opened and Alex barged through without waiting or looking, crashing into a body as she did. “Sorry!” She quickly said, cursing her unprofessionalism, before looking up and realizing it was Mon-El. A very shocked, scared looking Mon-El. Or was that guilt? She couldn’t quite tell.

“Whoa! Oh—Alex. You’re—you’re here!” He said, awkwardly, like he wasn’t all that happy to see her. Her stomach flopped at the implacations.

“Yeah, I kinda work here.” She replied, a look of skepticism washing over her. “What are you doing here?” She asked, wanting to see his reaction.

“Me? I was just… goingggg… over there.” He stammered, his expression like a deer in headlights, he pointed off towards the stairs, where he quickly started moving towards before Alex grabbed his arm and stopped him. He easily could have used his strength to pull away, but he didn’t, instead he guiltily turned back towards her, trying to paint an innocently curious look onto his face and failing. “Oh, sorry Alex, did you need something?” He asked, and Alex took a deep breath to stop herself from getting angry. Why was he avoiding her like this? He had been much warmer to her than Kara had been since the incident, and had even reached out to Alex on more than a few occasion trying to convince her to come by the apartment. What was with the sudden shift in behaviour?

“Where is Kara?” She asked, sternly. _Cut the bullshit, Mon-El, and just TELL me._ She thought impatiently to herself. In response, he looked confused. No, he looked fake-confused.

“Kara?” He asked, and now Alex was mad.

“Oh, you know, about yay-high,” She angrily held up her hand at about 5’8 level, “Blonde hair, loves pot stickers, wears a giant red ‘S’ on her chest? KARA?” She asked sarcastically and his eyes went wide.

“Oh! _That_ Kara.” He replied, his eyes shifting towards the elevator briefly. “You know, funny story, that isn’t actually an ‘S’ on her chest, it’s actually—“

“I KNOW IT ISN’T AN ‘S’!” Alex snapped, suddenly. “I know she’s here, Mon-El, with mom. She flew in wearing _Duckie_ pyjamas, Mon-El. Something is wrong. Stop trying to avoid me and tell me!” But he was infuriatingly still looking for a way out of the confrontation.

“She was? I could have sworn she changed before we left…” He answered.

“I don’t care about what she was wearing, why was she _carrying_ Mom? And where is she?” Alex asked him, directly. He seemed to look around for a way to escape so she reached out and grabbed his shoulder to keep him focused.

“I—“ He started, then stopped, looking upset and frustrated. Suddenly, Alex got the impression that he wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t.

“Did Kara tell you not to tell me?” She asked, and knew her answer instantly by his reaction. She tried not to let the heartbreak show on her face. Kara must really hate her for everything Alex had done to her, to be keeping secrets like this. Maybe she should just leave her alone?

But no, no matter what, Alex was her sister. And no matter what shitty things Alex had done in the past, she loved Kara more than anything and she needed to be there for her if things were bad. Even if Kara didn’t want her to be. Not waiting for an answer, Alex immediately turned around and pressed the ‘down’ button on the elevators. The doors opened immediately and she stepped inside. Mon-El seemed startled as he asked.

“So I guess you’re going back to work now? On a lower floor? Combat level, maybe?” He asked, hopefully, holding out his hand to stop the door from closing. Alex just looked at him, ignoring his questions.

“Why, are you going down too?” She asked slyly. He just kind of cleared his throat and stepped into the car. As the door closed, he slowly reached over to select his floor but Alex was quicker, hitting the number ‘12’ right as his finger almost touched the button. He looked up at her with wide, worried eyes before quickly looking away and standing up.

“Oh, I guess—same floor? That’s a coincidence, right?” He asked nervously, standing up straight and retreating to the farthest corner of the elevator car as it began to descend.

“Must be.” Alex responded sarcastically, and Mon-El finally broke character and groaned, leaning his head back against the wall in defeat. Then he turned to look at Alex, finally right in her eyes, and she could see his worry and determination.

“Can we just agree—I didn’t tell you anything?” He asked, and Alex had to smile a little. He was such a big puppy sometimes, and she had to admit that this was the best she’d seen him do with a secret, ever. Even if she didn’t want him to keep it.

“You did a good job. Now tell me what’s wrong.” She said, but they were interrupted by the ‘ding’ of the elevator and the doors opened once again. Instantly, she could her mother through the clear glass wall of an examination room, and Kara sitting on the table, talking with her. It was too late to ask Mon-El, now she would have to ask them herself.

As Alex bee-lined straight towards the room, Mon-El shouted from behind her in warning to Kara. “I didn’t tell her anything, Kara! Just ask her!” Alex rolled her eyes, but now Kara was seeing her coming, and in a flash she was standing in the doorway, blocking the entrance to the room.

“Alex!” Kara said brightly, to greet her, and she was smiling, but it was the smile she used when she was hiding something. What on earth was going on? As Alex tried to peek over her shoulder, Kara shifted to block her view. She tried to be casual about it, but failed miserably.

“Kara what’s wrong?” Alex asked, and Kara did her best to look confused. She was a terrible liar. Alex was getting sick of people lying to her today, so she raised an eyebrow pointedly and looked down at Kara’s outfit before looking back up at her.

“That’s just a fashion choice, then?” She asked, and Kara looked down embarrassedly and nervously picked at a fluff just below her pocket.

“Oh, uhhhh, yeah—“ She replied, and she looked like she was screaming at herself inside. She must really want to keep this secret. Alex began to feel really unsure about her decision to be there right now. Maybe Kara really didn’t want her around. Alex felt her heart sink, but for some strange reason her instincts were telling her to keep pressing. It was strange because normally at the first sign of rejection, Alex would run for the hills. She refused to be that person that wasn’t wanted that stuck around and wore out their welcome. Or worse, she was scared of looking like a fool. A fool who foolishly put themselves out there when they shouldn’t.

But this was Kara. And even if Alex had been avoiding her for selfish, or self-deprecating reasons, something was wrong. She was in the medical bay. Mom was there. And her gut told her to persist. But she couldn’t keep being hard about it. She wasn’t _owed_ any answers. So she’d have to _ask_ for them. “Kara, I’m so sorry. You know I am, I’ve told you, I—“

“I know you’re sorry, Alex, I forgive you! I love you!” Kara quickly replied, and she looked like _her_ heart was breaking now, like she meant every word. _Then why_?

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong then?” Alex asked, her voice barely a whisper, hurt. And Kara’s face twisted with regret before her expression told Alex she was about to shut her down again.

“Alex, I can’t—“

“Well when can you?” Alex asked, taking a different tack.

“Soon, hopefully soon.” Kara responded, reaching forward and placing her hand on Alex’s shoulder, making sure she knew she meant it. _Soon. Well, how damn soon?_

“So you’re not going to tell me why mom’s here? Or why you flew her in, even though she hates flying?” Alex asked, all anger gone from her and replaced all at once with worry. “You know that doesn’t look good to me, right?”

“Alex, I’ll tell you _as soon as I can_ , okay? I promise. You’re going to have to trust me.” She said, and Alex sighed deeply in disappointment, but she decided to stop pushing.

“Okay.” She said, and then Kara’s lip quirked up into a little smile.

“So he really didn’t tell you anything?” She asked.

“He was good.” Alex replied, a begrudging smile pulling at her cheeks. “He deserves a cookie, or a belly rub.” Kara laughed at this, and her eyebrows raised in admiration for Mon-El, before looking at him over Alex’s shoulder.

“You didn’t believe me?” He asked, pouting, and both Kara and Alex laughed, before Alex remembered that despite their little truce here, something was still wrong. The worry crept over her like a cold breeze and she didn’t know what she should do. But then Mom was at the door, placing a hand on Kara’s shoulder.

“It’s ready, Kara.” She said, and then she peeked around at Alex and smiled sympathetically. “Hey honey,” She said in greeting.

“Hey Mom.” Alex replied, dejected.

“Let’s get lunch, after?” Eliza asked, looking like she wanted nothing more than to cheer her daughter up. Well, no, that wasn’t true. There was one thing she wanted to do more. And it had something to do with Kara’s health. Because without waiting for an answer, she turned back to Kara. “Are you ready, darling?” She asked, and Kara looked at her and nervously nodded.

And then Mon-El was brushing past Alex as he tried to get past, to join Kara.

“Sorry, Alex. I just gotta—“ He said as he squeezed past. “Get by.” He added quietly, guiltily, avoiding her eyes. And with that, everyone turned back and left into the room, closing the door behind them. And suddenly Alex was alone again, and gazed through the glass wall with worry as Kara seemed to be settling down to lie on the exam table. Alex tried not to think of all the things that could be wrong with her, what could be causing that persisting fever. Was it fatal? She tried to banish the thought from her mind but once it was there, it was there. She looked on in anguish as an apologetic looking Mon-El turned around to face her through the glass. He frowned before tapping a button on the control panel and suddenly the walls turned from clear to opaque. She could no longer see anything that was happening in the room.

Sighing with disappointment, Alex turned to look around the space around her. Where to go now? She could return and check on Courtney and her knife training… she probably still had another fifteen minutes before she’d be scheduled to be finished. But for some reason, Alex couldn’t pull herself away from Kara. She wanted to be close. So instead of returning to work, Alex walked over towards the waiting room area, grabbed a 2 year old copy of People Magazine, and settled down into one of the uncomfortable chairs there where she would wait, until they were done.

 

 

 

 

 

“So that was awkward.” Mon-El said, turning away from the panel and back toward his beautiful girlfriend and her Mother. He was still cringing inside from his meeting with Alex. But the positive part was he hadn’t blown their secret. Despite the fact that he wanted to be singing from mountaintops right now, hiring skywriters, planning parades, writing symphonies, there was no end! But despite all that, he had managed to keep their secret. Because Kara wanted him to. He was getting better, and he felt a swell of pride at the thought. Good, because Kara deserved better than who he was. She deserved everything, and more.

“Soooo awkward!” Kara agreed, groaning.

“Poor Alex.” Eliza added, pouting briefly before turning back to Kara and smiling reassuringly. “But she’ll be fine. Don’t worry about her right now, Alex is tough. She’ll understand. It’s totally normal that you want to wait before you say anything. We don’t actually even know anything yet.”

“We know.” Mon-El interjected, and Eliza looked at him. “Sorry, you’re right, we don’t know…” He added, worried he’d come off rude. “But, we know.” He added. He couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to insult Eliza’s scientific expertise, but Mon-El could still hear the beautiful fluttering heartbeat of his baby, filling his ears and his senses, entrancing him and burrowing its way into his heart. She hadn’t heard. She didn’t know for sure yet. Scientists needed to see things to believe them. But Mon-El knew.

“He’s right, we heard his heartbeat.” Kara added, and both Mon-El and Eliza looked at her. _His?_

“His?” Eliza asked out loud. “Even if you are, if I was wrong, it would be too early to tell, darling…” She said, and Kara just smiled.

“That’s fine. It’s just a hunch.” She said, and Mon-El smiled back at her, his imagination running wild, picturing himself with a son. A little version of himself, except this version will get all the love and attention and patience in the world, right from the start. He had a chance to make everything right that was wrong for him. Mon-El’s mind started turning to all the fun things they would do together, and then suddenly he was making mental lists of all the things he didn’t know how to do yet that he would have to learn before the baby was born. Mon-El didn’t even know how to ride a bike! How was he going to teach his son? And baseball! Someone needed to teach him how baseball worked! He started to panic before Eliza’s voice brought him back to Earth.

“Ok. Well, let’s check on whoever’s in there and make sure my grandbaby is okay.” She said, smiling, and after a beat her smile widened and she hopped a little in excitement, squealing and behaving in a way Mon-El had never seen Eliza act before. “Ohhhh I hope you’re right! Grandbabies!” She sang, dancing a little before regaining her composure.

“Whoa mom! Baby. Not _babies_.” Kara added, laughing, and Mon-El’s mind lit up like a firework at the thought. More than one? Could he handle more than one? He didn’t think he could even handle one, before today. One was enough. But then this time it wasn’t Kara who finished his thought, but Eliza.

“For now.” She said, smirking, and Kara rolled her eyes good naturedly.

“Let’s just make sure this one is okay, first.” She said, and Mon-El agreed. He needed to know the baby was okay. He needed to know that Kara was okay. He needed them both to be ok, more than he needed air or sunlight or anything else. They were all that mattered now.

“Okay, darling. I wish we didn’t have to do this, but it’s the only way.” But Mon-El was confused. What was the only way?

“Sorry, did I miss something?” He asked, concerned, as he stepped forward and took one of Kara’s hands.

“It’s okay, Mon-El.” Kara tried to assure him, but he was fixed on Eliza, who looked up from her charts to answer him..

“My instrumentation wasn’t able to pick up on any heartbeats.” Eliza explained. “It would seem that Kara’s powers are getting in the way.” She added, and Mon-El scrunched his eyebrows.

“It’s my superwomb.” Kara added, shrugging, smiling at her silly word, and Mon-El snorted once at how cute she was before frowning.

“So, what is the plan?” He asked, but he thought he already knew. _Not again…_

“Well, the good news is that whoever is in there, they’re nice and safe. I don’t think there’s a safer place for a baby to be. But for me to get a look, I’m going to have to expose Kara to the Red Sunlight gas again.” She explained, and all Mon-El could think about the hours he spent unconscious after his last exposure to this gas. At his worried reaction, Eliza added. “But don’t worry. I adjusted the dosage based on your previous experience with it. This should just temporarily drain her powers, and she’ll be a little groggy. Kind of like laughing gas, I hope.”

Kara on laughing gas? That actually sounded kind of fun. But he was worried for her not to have her powers.

“How long until she’s back to normal?” He asked, and Kara squeezed his hand.

“It’s okay Mon-El, not long. Thirty, maybe forty minutes. It won’t be bad, okay?” Kara reassured him, leaning up on one elbow to look at him properly. She needed him to be okay with it, and in truth he understood that if this was what they had to do for the baby’s wellbeing, it had to happen. But he couldn’t help himself but worry about her.

“Okay.” He said, and she smiled. Then he thought of something. “Quick question,” he added.

“Shoot.” She said, and his lips turned up mischievously.

“You’re going to be all dopey, right?” He asked, innocently, he hoped.

“Yessss?” She replied suspiciously.

“So I was thinking, can you put on your suit first?” He asked, and at her disapproving glare he laughed and started to elaborate. “This is too perfect, I’ve got to tape it. I’m thinking my video will be called “Supergirl after the Dentist”. Do you know how many hits I’ll get? It’s going to—oh, what’s the word?—it’ll be a virus!” He exclaimed, teasing, and Kara scowled her scowliest scowl. Rao, it was adorable when she did that. He loved making her fun-mad. Never mad-mad. But always fun-mad.

“No!” She said, swatting his arm. “Filming!” She added, with another, and even Eliza was chuckling.

“Okay, I think it’s time to begin. I can’t wait any longer!” She said, excited, and Mon-El couldn’t help but agree.

“Yes, _please_.” Kara agreed, settling back down again, flat against the table. Eliza set up a few monitor wires, sticking them to her skin, presumably to monitor Kara’s own vitals. And then, she set up a little tube under Kara’s nose, sticking the two spouts into her nostrils. It was time.

“Okay, see you in a bit, sweetheart.” Eliza said sweetly, leaning down and kissing Kara’s forehead before turning the nozzle on a silver canister of gas. All at once, the clear tube leading to Kara’s nose turned red, and Kara’s gaze seemed to melt. Mon-El knew that look very well, he’d seen it on men and women’s faces all his life, when they’d drank too much or partaken in too many party favours. He’d never seen Kara look like that before and it was both amusing but also a little disconcerting. Suddenly, he realized how helpless she was, and he felt himself go on alert. He’d protect her.

“Good, she’s under.” Eliza breathed, and on the table Kara snorted in laughter.

“Under? Under what? Under water? Under _wear?_ ” She asked nonsensically, cracking herself up, no doubt with the word underwear. Mon-El laughed out loud, fumbling to pull out his phone quickly. It wasn’t even funny, except it was also hilarious.

“Are you sure I can’t film this?” He asked her, and her face twisted comically and she blew him a raspberry. “I’ll take that as a no.” He replied, and tucked his phone away.

“As funny as those family videos would be to show everyone at Thanksgiving, we should probably try to calm her down.” Eliza instructed Mon-El, an amused smirk on her face. At least she thought drugged up Kara was adorable, too.

“Awwww.” He said, pouting, despite already having pocketed his phone, but then Eliza’s smirk turned mischievous.

“Well, maybe just a quick video, when we’re done.” She added with a wink, and Mon-El laughed and nodded. Kara was oblivious to them, she seemed to be examining the back of her hand, for some reason, holding it out in front of her in a daze.

“Hey you, handsome man.” She said, her words a little slurred and it took Mon-El a second to realize she must have meant _him._

“Me?” He asked, chuckling, kneeling down to get closer to her. She held out the back of her hand for him to see.

“Did I always have that freckle there?” She asked, and he smiled before reaching out to gently take her hand.

“Yes, Kara.” He answered softly, lifting the back of her hand to his lips and kissing it lightly. “I kiss it every night before bed.” He added. She seemed to calm down with his answer, her eyes went from dopey and animated to dopey and sleepy, and he thought that was a good thing.

“Oh…” She sighed, contentedly, like she liked his answer. It was true. He held those hands as often as he could, kissed their freckles and their knuckles, gently stroked them so often he could picture every detail down to the tiniest hair. He knew the back of Kara’s hands better than the back of his own.

Mon-El knelt there, doing just that, kissing and stroking her knuckles and hand until she seemed to fall asleep, and then finally he looked up at Eliza. She was standing there, gently shaking her head, an adoring smile on her face. “You two, I swear.” She said, and Mon-El’s eyebrows quirked.

“What?” He asked, not knowing what she meant.

“When’s the wedding?” She asked, and he didn’t know if she was teasing or serious, so he just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“Not until I can get the parade permit.” He answered, and she laughed out loud, though he didn’t know why. It wasn’t funny, he’d been fighting with city hall for months.

“You sweet boy.” She answered, and Mon-El smiled widely, forgetting about the battle for the permit. He loved when Eliza called him that. She was so motherly and warm, he’d never experienced anything like that before. He was so happy for Kara, having had two wonderful mothers. It helped allay his fears for the baby to come. At least one of them would know what they were doing.

“Okay,” She continued, picking up some sort of tool and smearing jelly on it. “Let’s get a look at my grandbaby!” She said with joy and determination. “Look at the screen, Mon-El.” She instructed, and he looked up and watched the little black screen with the lines on it come to life with strange flashes of light. None of it was making any sense to him, it made funny noises and displayed weird patterns, but then Eliza gasped. “There he is,” She whispered, in awe, and she reached forward to turn up a dial, and suddenly there it was, the fluttering beat of his baby’s heart. He’d only known it a day, but he could recognize it anywhere.

Mon-El’s face lit up at the noise, and Eliza pointed to the screen with her free hand. “See? There, that’s him.” She whispered, and Mon-El looked on in awe as he saw his child for the first time. He looked like… a bean, a beautiful little bean. Mon-El opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

“That’s… that’s him?” He asked, and she just smiled and nodded, wiping away a tear from her eye as she adjusted the device on Kara’s abdomen, getting a better view. “You know it’s a boy?” He asked, but Eliza shook her head.

“Not for at least another month.” She said, and he nodded, transfixed by the little bean on the screen, listening to the beautiful music of his child’s heart. For a few minutes, he knelt there by Kara’s side, not looking away, just absorbing every second and committing it to memory. He wanted to be able to describe every detail to Kara when she was back to normal. At some point along the way he’d begun crying, and Eliza, too. She continued to do her work, check out all the angles, monitor the vitals, and finally, she turned back to Mon-El. Reluctantly, Mon-El turned away from the monitor to look at her.

“The baby is perfectly healthy.” She said triumphantly, and Mon-El felt the weight of a mountain come off his chest, and he hadn’t even realized it was there. He was so relieved he was jumping up to hug her, when all of a sudden something happened to Eliza. She… changed.

At first, it was subtle. A breeze flew through the room and it left a chill running down Mon-El’s spine. And then it was her posture. She stood in a way she didn’t normally, her shoulders back, her head lurched forward. And then, most disturbingly, it was her eyes. They began to darken into bottomless pits of black, and it didn’t stop until the whites were gone, and staring into them was like staring into eternity.

Mon-El stood up, on guard, grabbing Kara’s hand and waking her up in the process. “Eliza?” He asked, tentatively.

“Eliza’s not home right now.” She replied, turning to him menacingly. Her voice was booming, thunderous. As she spoke, the breeze in the room turned fierce, gusts seeming to emanate from Eliza’s body, turning the room into a hurricane with herself as the eye. As Mon-El watched in horror, Eliza began rising into the air, hovering in the center of the ripping gusts.

“So windy!” Kara exclaimed, and Mon-El suddenly realized the danger she was in. Whatever was happening, it didn’t matter. What _did_ matter was that Kara was still under the effects of the Red Sun. She had no powers to protect her, and the gale force winds that were ripping through the room were starting to pick up pieces of equipment. As the thought crossed his mind, a chair slid from one side of the room to the other, toppling over as it did. He needed to do something, _now!_

“Help!” He shouted. “Alex! Anyone!” He screamed, as he tried to scoop up Kara to protect her, to get her away from the murderous elemental force that was Eliza Danvers. But whatever was controlling Eliza used a blasting force of wind to knock him aside, into the wall. He crashed into the unbreakable glass, landing harshly against a chair. It took him a moment, he was dazed, but he bounced back to his feet as quickly as he could. She seemed to be focused on Kara, who seemed completely baffled and amused by the whole thing.

“Say goodbye, Supergirl.” Her deep, bellowing voice said, as Eliza’s body floated in the air, arms out to the side, hair ripping around, dark eyes fixed on the love of Mon-El’s life. Both of them. He began to see red.

“NO!” He screamed, lunging as hard as he could at Eliza. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he _had_ to stop her. Paper and small items flew through the air as he pushed his way through to his goal. He succeeded in tackling her around the middle, coming to a crash across the room. But as soon as they hit the ground, whatever was inside Eliza screamed in fury.

“YOU CAN DIE, TOO!” She shouted as she started motioning to items in the room and then whipping her arm towards Mon-El. As she did, various large objects began barraging him. The ultrasound cart knocked him back, and then the bedside table cracked him in the head. All the while, all he could think of was Kara. He need to get to Kara. He fought through the winds to get to her. She was sitting at the end of the bed, her knees curled up, hugging a pillow. She now seemed to be scared and confused, and helpless to defend herself. _KARA._

“Eliza!” Mon-El screamed into the wind helplessly. “Eliza! FIGHT IT!” He shouted, but as he said it, he thought back to the time a telepath had taken control of his own body. It wasn’t going to be that easy. And as he said it, a giant crack started to form in the cement ceiling, fifteen feet above them. Sand and small bits of cement were already falling from the broken structure. He needed to get to Kara. He didn’t have a second to waste.

He fought against the wind but he felt trapped, he couldn’t seem to move from the corner, Eliza was stopping him. As he struggled, the cracks in the ceiling got bigger. It was going to come down at any second. Just when Mon-El started to feel hopeless, like all was lost, the door crashed open. Mon-El squinted, and made out the tall, dark form of J’onn J’onzz. Martian Manhunter. _Telepath._

“STOP!” He bellowed, placing two fingers to his temple and glaring at Eliza. And as he did, the wind died down. Mon-El felt a huge wave of relief wash over him as it did, and he tried to untangle himself from the pile of furniture that Eliza had thrown at him. As he did, J’onn took small steps closer, though he seemed to be struggling. “He’s strong!” He roared. His face was pulled into a grimace and sweat was beading on his forehead. His hand shook a little at his temple and he grunted like he was in combat. “Get. Out!” He grunted, before letting out a huge roar of effort. And then suddenly, Eliza dropped to the floor in a heap.

Mon-El looked at her, watched in relief as J’onn won back control of Eliza’s mind, and felt that it was all over. They’d survived. He felt a sob rise in his chest, emotions he had been suppressing through the surge of adrenaline. Anger, fear, desperation, love for his girlfriend and unborn child. Love for his girlfriend’s mother. So much. He couldn’t believe it, as fast as it had started, it was all over.

And that’s when he heard the crack. He looked up, and it felt like the world around him went into slow motion. The ceiling was coming down on top of them. There was no time. Mon-El and J’onn would be fine, but Kara and Eliza… and the baby…

Mon-El had heard about fight or flight. It was a reaction to a stressful, threatening situation. But he didn’t think that this was how it was supposed to work. Because, without thinking, the world seemingly frozen around him as he assessed the situation and imminent danger to his loved ones, he listened to his instincts. And every instinct in his body was telling him to _jump._

So Mon-El jumped. He broke free of the rubble and furniture piled up on him and he kept going. Up and up and suddenly he wasn’t jumping, _he was flying_. But he didn’t have time to think about it or question it. Or wonder what the hell was going on. He had to save Kara and Eliza. So he placed his shoulders under the slumping ceiling, braced his hands against the falling chunks and _pushed_. He pushed up with all his might, and it was working! For now. He didn’t think he could hold it for long.

He looked down, to make sure Kara was alright, and all around the room people were looking at him, gaping with their mouths open. Eliza, who was just waking up on the floor. J’onn. Alex in the doorway. And a doped-up looking Kara whose eyes were as wide as her smile as she pointed at him.

“That handsome man is flying!” She said, giggling, and it woke Mon-El up, and the people around him. They all looked at Kara at once, and Mon-El groaned in effort as he struggled to hold the crumbling structure together.

“Get them out of here!” He grunted through clenched teeth. He couldn’t hold it. It was coming down. Soon.

Luckily, Alex listened. She was looking at him with a mix of awe and gratefulness, and when he spoke, she focused, narrowing her eyebrows and nodding her head sharply once. And then she sprang into action. She was closer to Kara, so she darted in that direction, while J’onn moved to help Eliza. J’onn had no trouble, moving Eliza to safety. But Kara was struggling. As Alex tried desperately to pull her clear of the room, Kara was pointing at Mon-El and pulling to get closer to him.

But luckily, she was still weak, and Alex was very strong. She got her to the door, and just as Kara would have been pulled free, she held onto the doorframe, her eyes locking with Mon-El’s. “But he’s _flying!_ ” She protested, her voice full of wonder. And suddenly, at Kara’s words and the look of glossy-eyed love in her eyes, the knowledge finally sank in. Like a puzzle piece being put into place, with the absence of his loved ones in danger, he began capable of understanding the reality of what was happening. He’d been dreaming about it for two months, vividly, ever since the incident, so it was hard to define this as _real_. He still almost wondered if he was dreaming.

But no. He wasn’t dreaming. _He was flying._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaahhh! Okay, I can't believe I finished! This story is a labour of love, from its concept with me and Conty, to the writing and filling in the gaps, I hope you guys are continuing to enjoy it! I'm so excited and curious to hear what your reactions to this chapter are! Please let me know what you thought and if you're still wanting more!
> 
> xoxoxox and thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok one thing... I'M SORRY!!!! I know this isn't what you guys expected, but this fic took on a life of its own and took a direction I wasn't expecting. It basically feels like canon in mine and Conty's heads. But stick with it :) There's a LOT more to come and I think you'll like the ride!!! There's a lot of questions still to be answered :)
> 
> And PLEASE let me know what you think!!! Do you want more??? What are your impressions? Did you like the flashbacks? I'm hoping fans of Mating Season enjoyed this :) See you on the next update or on my tumblr (inbox always open) @kelbottumbles


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